Things like this make it worthwhile.

Sunday Night was one of those long nights as a Mom. Mirian has had a cold for the last four days but woke up that night at midnight complaining about an ear ache. We tried everything we could think of to help her feel better, but it just wasn’t working. So the rest of the night was spent either laying with her on the couch, in her bed or trying to help her feel better. I was completely exhausted.  The previous week I had slept horrible to the same reoccurring dreams over and over that kept waking me up, but I could never remember what they were about.  About 3 am I started feeling sick and nauseous, starting to feel the onset of the flu myself.  Not a good combination with a very sick little girl, and a husband who would be getting up at 5:30 am to fly to California for 3 days where he was presenting at a conference.  I just new it was going to be a long couple of days.

About 5:15 am Mirian finally fell asleep for good, but Savannah woke up at the same time, since Beau was getting ready to leave. All I could muster telling him was to make sure he told her to back to sleep and that it was not time to get up. I was so exhausted I knew I did not want to wake up until I absolutely had to, which I was hoping for 8 or 9.

A while later I was awoken again from my sleep by Savannah, saying “mommy I have something for you.” I awoke enough to realize that she had a pan in front of me with a cup of yogurt, a roll, a peanut butter sandwich (which she had made 8 of the day before in an attempt to make breakfast for everyone) and a cup of milk with some cards on top.  She was all proud of herself and was quietly waiting to see what my response was. I knew from previous conversations that she had felt bad other times when she had tried to make breakfast when I had been working out in the office early in the mornings.  If I don’t smile real big and act excited then she feels like I wasn’t proud of her or happy that she did it.  

So despite my complete exhaustion and nausea I sat up and tried to show her how happy and surprised I was that she had made me breakfast in bed. I opened her card to find this little note.
 
How could anyone not melt and feel loved with a note like that and her desire to do something nice for me.  I gave her a big hug and told her how much I loved her. I explained to her that I was feeling sick and would it be ok if I ate the food a little bit later so I wouldn’t throw it up. She agreed and left with a smile and happy about what she had done.

Later when I was forced to wake up (probably 30 minutes later) by the rest of the gang I took my little breakfast tray to the living room to eat. She began to tell me that she tried to use leftovers while she made the breakfast, explaining that she used the rolls from dinner last night, and the peanut butter sandwiches that we had left over from her breakfast the day before.  Obviously we’ve been trying to use up leftovers rather than making new food.:) That comment just made me smile. You never know what your kids will pick up on.

The rest of the day was rough as I was exhausted. Mirian’s ear still didn’t feel well and she was just one sick little girl. We basically vegged all day but Savannah was awesome.  Dad had asked her to help take care of everyone while I was gone before he left and promised her a treat.  (Don’t you dare forget to get her one honey!)  She has been so grown up, helping out, being kind, she even got Caitlyn, herself and Isaac already to go when I declared we had a doctors appointment and needed to have everyone in the car so we could make it there in 10 minutes. The next thing I knew I turned around and Cailtyn had her boots and coat on, Isaac was ready to go and we were able to literally fly out the door. 

She is growing up too fast, and it’s nice to have a child aware that mom is having a rough day, and that she can make a difference.

Today has gone so much better. We all got about 11 hours of sleep last night. A few times of waking up to shuffle kids who kept climbing in bed, but we all woke up feeling so much better. We found out at the Dr. that Mirian had one ear that was starting to have an ear infection and that the ear that had been hurting her so bad had a really bad one and had burst.  So now she’s got medicine and today she woke up a much happier Mirlin.  It can only get better from here on out and we’re all looking forward to seeing Dad in a couple of days!

Time to Listen

My sister called me up the other day wanting to know if I was ok, since it had been a few weeks since I had posted on my blog. My answer. We're doing great, just had lots going on during the holidays and just haven't felt the need or desire to blog yet.

Have you ever had so many thoughts going on in your head that needed processing. Although your dying to get them all down on paper and write them all out, you just can't yet. That's what I've been experiencing lately.... so many thoughts intertwining with each other, overlapping, connected and yet completely different and all trying to make sense. They are now slowly starting to fall into place. Which means that I'm slowly starting to have a desire to blog again.... I finally feel like I'll have some things to say.

I enjoyed our holidays and time we were able to spend with family. It was exhausting and refreshing all at the same time. I truly felt like I enjoyed my holidays this year compared to other years where I made myself too busy and waited too long to finish projects up. With these end of the year festivities automatically comes that desire to start making goals, start thinking of big ideas. Things I want to do, accomplish and be by the end of the year. Goals for my family. I'm naturally built that way, I love making goals and trying to accomplish them. There is something about evaluating things at the moment and trying to figure out how to grow from there.

So in the process I recognized a lot of things that needed changing and things that I really wanted to work on this year. They began to fall around a theme.... which made me fall on the idea (that many of my friends do) of choosing an overall word for the year to focus on and work towards. I totally bombed out on the word I chose last year. I can't even remember what it was. But the word I chose for this year felt right in every way. It was about things I have pondering and it had lots of potential for growth. I knew I had it. I knew it was something I could actually do. I had it all planned, I was even going to write my big blog post about it.

Then it completely got thrown aside after talking to a friend of mine at Beau's Lab party. She said some things that has had my mind reeling for the last four days. She competely undid my word for this year and gave me a new word.

Listen.

Specifically. LISTEN TO THE STILL SMALL VOICE.

I realized that all changes, all questions, all goals, all hopes, all things I wanted to do for the year could be answered and made better by listening to the guidance of the spirit. Too often I'm too busy, ignore or don't take the time to sincerely listen for the spirit about matters or pray specifically for direction. How much better would my life be as well as my family's by the end of the year, if the only simple thing I did in my life was try to be more intune to the spirit. More worthy of it's presence, more obedient in following in it's promptings. Taking a very active participating role in seeking the spirit.

The other night I was studying the topic, and ran across a great verse that described the fruits of the spirit. Love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance. Have you felt those lately? Do you feel them daily? If not why? What are you feeling instead? Stress, exhaustion, lack of faith, short in patience, quick temper, unhappiness, or discouragement.

There have been a few things lately that have been bothering me and on my mind. A few times in the last couple of months that I've felt stressed. Too often I'm short tempered, and have a huge lack of patience. A few times when I questioned if I was doing the right thing.

How simple to stop and listen to the still voice deep inside of us that is trying to show us, guide us and let us know what would ultimately make us happier, help our families and be what the Lord wanted. During a couple of moments in the last week I stopped to let that small voice guide me and show me what was making things hard and difficult. And then he give me the peace and assurance that it was ok to make changes, to drop things, to focus on what mattered.

He gave me faith and hope that it would be ok, it would work out even though from our mind it wasn't possible. He reminded me what is ultimately my biggest and most important responsiblity in this world - my children. Being a mother, spending time with them, teaching them, developing strong relationships with them, being a better homemaker and wife. That is all that matters, and anything else that was affecting, harming or creating stress in any of those areas had to go. What do I feel now? Peace. Huge peace.... all because I decided to finally LISTEN and then DO IT.

So I hope that by the end of the year I can say that I have stopped and LISTENED. I hope to tell you that our lives were changed in incredible ways. I hope to tell you that we saw Miracles occur. I hope to tell you that I lived a year filled with peace and happiness admist life's difficulties, I hope to tell you that in the process of this, my goals were accomplished better than they could have been on their own, and that I accomplished goals I wasn't even aware that I had, because the Lord had them for me.

Now to just go and LISTEN.