This last week has been a difficult week for many reasons. I was expecting a baby and was 14 weeks a long when we found out that the baby didn’t make it. I ended up miscarrying a few hours later and had hoped that we had made it through the worst of it. Inwardly I was scared to death of repeating the circumstances of my previous miscarriage. A few days later some of those fears did come to past as I made a trip to the ER after loosing too much blood way too quickly. It was an evening mixed with so many emotions, fears and flashbacks of a few months previously. Things went smoother, and after getting blood and doing an emergency D&C, I felt tons better.
It has been a week of so many emotions. Days of exhaustion and adventure in the hospital, only to have the next day arrive with lots of tears and emotions over what all of it meant. It has been interesting to see how my emotions and feelings have varied from the first miscarriage. This time I needed time alone, I did not want to see people, talk to people, it was too much to be around my kids. I really needed time alone and time to heal. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally and spiritually. I was exhausted. I was emotionally spent. I just did not have it in me to give to anyone else.
I had questions of what was there to be learned from this 2nd loss. But during some of these down quiet times, when your thoughts have a chance to turn inward, I have pondered more on the Savior. Who he is, what he went through, and how to access the part of the atonement that is not there for the sinner, but is there for the hurt, wounded, and broken-hearted. The part of the atonement that gives strength and solace because he has experienced the pain before. He understands and because he can understand he can succor me and bound up this broken heart. He can fill my empty pitcher. He can let me cry and weep along with me. He can give me peace through the Holy Ghost that it will be ok. He can be on my right hand and on my left to bear me up, as I went through the physical trials in the ER. He can calm my fears. He can give me hope of an incredible future even though this baby won’t be a part of it.
How grateful I am for him in my life right now. How grateful I am to know of him, know he lives and be able to have him right here through the hard times, rather than going through it a lone. What a wonderful season to have a miscarriage in as we come upon the celebration of that beautiful Easter morn when he showed us that he overcame death and the world. That he has the ability to mend the broken-hearted and heal us if we let him. That he is the life and the light, and that through him all things are possible.
I hope you take time this Easter season to really ponder who Jesus the Christ really is and what he can do for you in your life right now to heal you. He has been healing me and has the ability to heal you as well if you only let him.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
With a Little Bit of Thread
I love the fact that you can create beautiful things from a simple piece of thread. I’ve had some flour sack towels on hand, and have just been embroidering some patterns on them.
In the process I have noticed this weird thing that happens in my kitchen. I am one of those people that can go through 5-6 kitchen towels in one day. (Ask my husband, it blows him away sometimes. And annoys him to no end when he can never find one.) Maybe it’s all my kids, and the age of my kids that adds to that number. Maybe it’s some other weird phenomenon, but I can go through all my clean towels in one day somehow…. but here is the weird part.
I have a few of these flour sack towels that I’ve been given at my wedding and that I’ve collected. I somehow can get one towel and use it all day, if it’s one of these towels and not a terry cloth towel. Now what is up with that! I don’t know what the little magic number is but seriously, how can this be. So I’ve decided it’s time to replace all those terry cloth towels with these magic babies. Plus there’s something magical and nostalgic about have having hand embroidered towels in your kitchen. A little love was put into them, it reminds me of my grandma’s, it just makes me happy. So I’m on an adventure to embroidery a bunch of fun towels here and there as I watch a movie and slowly replace 5-6 terry towels with one of these babies.
In the process I have noticed this weird thing that happens in my kitchen. I am one of those people that can go through 5-6 kitchen towels in one day. (Ask my husband, it blows him away sometimes. And annoys him to no end when he can never find one.) Maybe it’s all my kids, and the age of my kids that adds to that number. Maybe it’s some other weird phenomenon, but I can go through all my clean towels in one day somehow…. but here is the weird part.
I have a few of these flour sack towels that I’ve been given at my wedding and that I’ve collected. I somehow can get one towel and use it all day, if it’s one of these towels and not a terry cloth towel. Now what is up with that! I don’t know what the little magic number is but seriously, how can this be. So I’ve decided it’s time to replace all those terry cloth towels with these magic babies. Plus there’s something magical and nostalgic about have having hand embroidered towels in your kitchen. A little love was put into them, it reminds me of my grandma’s, it just makes me happy. So I’m on an adventure to embroidery a bunch of fun towels here and there as I watch a movie and slowly replace 5-6 terry towels with one of these babies.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
I’m Going to Do it!
For as long as I can remember my mom has been sewing, painting or creating something to beautify our home growing up. Over the last 20 years she has created quilt after quilt. We had quilts for our weddings. Every new baby in the family has a quilt. She has quilts that she makes for humanitarian projects, quilts for sisters having babies in her church, and quilts that she’s just made and given away because she felt like that person needed a pick me up and needed to know that they were loved and thought of. They are always gorgeous and she has become a master at it. She just finished the cutest truck one for Isaac that I’m in love with, and always has about 4-5 more to show me every time I go home.
There is one that she made years ago that is a blessing quilt. It is darling and has her individual blessings and things she is grateful for throughout the whole quilt. Every time we go home especially at Thanksgiving when it’s out on display, we always comment on how cute it is, and just how awesome it is to have all those blessing documented.
We decided that it would be fun as a family project with all my sisters to create our own blessing quilts and work on it slowly as a monthly block quilt. We’ve got the pattern for the first two months and I’ve been thinking how much I’d like to make it, but just haven’t gotten started. I’m intimidated honestly. I wasn’t sure if I’ll be able to follow directions, I am so obsessed with colors that trying to pick out colors that I was in love with was scary and it just wasn’t getting done.
About a week ago my sister posted her first few blocks she got finished up on our family blog encouraging all of us to get started on ours. It was what I needed. I decided that instead of going out and buying new fabric I’d use what I had on hand, and started digging around seeing if I could find some that would match each other and look good. I ran across this print, which I fell in love with a while ago.
So I started trying to match the colors, and before I knew it I was in love. These colors are sooo me. It finally felt like my quilt, not the designers quilt, not my mother’s quilt, not my sisters either. It was my quilt with my interesting color choices and bright colors. I was pumped. I needed to pick up a few more greens and some blue since I didn’t have enough, but I was ready to go.
So after the kids have gone to bed, I have sat down and began following the instructions. Learning how to cut and sew my squares, and beginning to create my blocks. There is a bunch of appliqué and embroidery which I’m excited about because I LOVE doing that. It took about the first two nights to realize why I have not become a major quilter. I am not one for having to have perfect exact measurements. After lots of mistakes, wrongly cut fabric, sewing wrong pieces together, and ending up with finished blocks that were a 1/2 inch smaller than they were supposed to be; I realized this quilt just might be the death of me. But I’m determined. I AM going to finish this. and I AM going to do it right.
So I’ve been thinking about what kinds of blessings I want to record on it. I decided I wanted it to be a record of these last 8 years here in Provo at BYU. Our first 8 years married, the start of our family, being poor starving college students and record the many blessings we’ve received the years we’ve been here. I want to pull this quilt out 20/30 years down the road, or 50 years down the road and remember the incredible blessings we had here, what a foundation these 8 years was for the rest of our life, and remember how happy and wonderful this time of our life was. Life has been good to us these 8 years. I am really excited about this project, and hope to show you the bits and pieces as I put it together over the next year. I hope that by next spring when Beau walks across the stage graduating with his Doctorate, that this quilt will be a memory of our time here as we get ready to embark on a new journey.
I’m also hoping that my other sisters jump in on the project too. It would be so fun to all get together and show our finished quilts together with mom’s. Five different styles, five different color choices, and five different sets of individual blessings and things we’re grateful for. Five records of how good our lives really are and how much God has blessed us. So for now I’ll be working on it one block at a time, learning patience and how to slow down and make sure I’m doing it correctly the first time.
There is one that she made years ago that is a blessing quilt. It is darling and has her individual blessings and things she is grateful for throughout the whole quilt. Every time we go home especially at Thanksgiving when it’s out on display, we always comment on how cute it is, and just how awesome it is to have all those blessing documented.
We decided that it would be fun as a family project with all my sisters to create our own blessing quilts and work on it slowly as a monthly block quilt. We’ve got the pattern for the first two months and I’ve been thinking how much I’d like to make it, but just haven’t gotten started. I’m intimidated honestly. I wasn’t sure if I’ll be able to follow directions, I am so obsessed with colors that trying to pick out colors that I was in love with was scary and it just wasn’t getting done.
About a week ago my sister posted her first few blocks she got finished up on our family blog encouraging all of us to get started on ours. It was what I needed. I decided that instead of going out and buying new fabric I’d use what I had on hand, and started digging around seeing if I could find some that would match each other and look good. I ran across this print, which I fell in love with a while ago.
So I started trying to match the colors, and before I knew it I was in love. These colors are sooo me. It finally felt like my quilt, not the designers quilt, not my mother’s quilt, not my sisters either. It was my quilt with my interesting color choices and bright colors. I was pumped. I needed to pick up a few more greens and some blue since I didn’t have enough, but I was ready to go.
So after the kids have gone to bed, I have sat down and began following the instructions. Learning how to cut and sew my squares, and beginning to create my blocks. There is a bunch of appliqué and embroidery which I’m excited about because I LOVE doing that. It took about the first two nights to realize why I have not become a major quilter. I am not one for having to have perfect exact measurements. After lots of mistakes, wrongly cut fabric, sewing wrong pieces together, and ending up with finished blocks that were a 1/2 inch smaller than they were supposed to be; I realized this quilt just might be the death of me. But I’m determined. I AM going to finish this. and I AM going to do it right.
So I’ve been thinking about what kinds of blessings I want to record on it. I decided I wanted it to be a record of these last 8 years here in Provo at BYU. Our first 8 years married, the start of our family, being poor starving college students and record the many blessings we’ve received the years we’ve been here. I want to pull this quilt out 20/30 years down the road, or 50 years down the road and remember the incredible blessings we had here, what a foundation these 8 years was for the rest of our life, and remember how happy and wonderful this time of our life was. Life has been good to us these 8 years. I am really excited about this project, and hope to show you the bits and pieces as I put it together over the next year. I hope that by next spring when Beau walks across the stage graduating with his Doctorate, that this quilt will be a memory of our time here as we get ready to embark on a new journey.
I’m also hoping that my other sisters jump in on the project too. It would be so fun to all get together and show our finished quilts together with mom’s. Five different styles, five different color choices, and five different sets of individual blessings and things we’re grateful for. Five records of how good our lives really are and how much God has blessed us. So for now I’ll be working on it one block at a time, learning patience and how to slow down and make sure I’m doing it correctly the first time.
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
A Daughter After My Own Heart
The other day I walked in from being outside and looked over at the table to find Savannah all the crayons by color.
I just burst into the biggest smile and had to get my camera. Here was a girl after my own heart. I always have to organize the colors when I get a new box. I started snapping pictures, because I had to document this moment, when my daughter had a huge part of me in her coming out. She noticed me taking pictures and she replied with,
“Mom do you know why I’m dividing up all the crayons? Because they just didn’t feel right.”
Man. She couldn’t have said it better. I know exactly what you mean Savannah. They don’t feel right all mixed up there together, none of them going together, none of them organized in nature’s beautiful way. They are meant to blend and move into each other slowly creating all the hues of color in this gorgeous world. It was all I could do to not go pull out my new box in my closet and sit down with her and put them in their natural order, and get excited about seeing all the possible color combinations. It’s an obsession I know.
But honestly it just doesn’t FEEL right any other way.
Monday, March 22, 2010
We Tackled Them and Won
Recently my girls have had two different friends that have learned how to ride their bikes without training wheels. The first friend was taught by a neighborhood friend how to do it about a year ago. Learning that encouraged my girls to ask dad to take off the training wheels and help them learn how to do it. It turned into lots of tears, frustration, anger and a demand to put the training wheels back on. So we did and we’ve been riding them with training wheels ever since.
This last week we invited a friend of Mirian’s over to play and found in the process she had taught herself how to ride her bike without training wheels. So while she was here a 4 year old tried to teach my four year old how to do by herself. Mirian picked up pretty quickly but was still struggling with part of it. When Savannah got home Mirian showed her how close she was getting which resulted in Savannah asking me to take off her training wheels too. They kept falling but were tough and just kept practicing and practicing despite how difficult it was to learn in our small narrow driveway. If Maddie could do it they could too. Finally at one point Mirian fell and hurt her knee a bit, cried and demanded that this is why mom and dad should make them wear knee pads, elbow pads, and helmets. I explained that me and dad learned how to ride a bike with out them and fell many times too. It made us tougher and made us not want to fall as much, we lived, and we learned how to ride a bike. We figured out a way to pad those knees a bit more though so the fall wasn’t so rough – dad’s socks.
So when dad got home on Saturday from doing his two days of Philmont training for Boy Scouts they wanted to go over to the big church parking lot and show him. Mirian picked it up almost immediately now that she had lots of room to swerve and figure it out. She just takes off at top speed (in which you hope she doesn’t crash) and was tearing around the parking lot, hitting the breaks and burning rubber coming to a complete stop. She has some Tippetts blood in her. It was a moment where you were super proud of her. She figured it out all by herself and did it. She was determined and accomplished it.
Savannah is Miss Hesitant, barely pushing hard enough on the pedal to get the bike barely moving. Trying to convince her that it’s easier to stay upright if she moves faster was a little tougher than Mirian. She finally picked it up. She is still is more hesitant, crashes a bit more, but she too figured it out by herself. They were so proud of themselves, and have been wanting to ride their bikes ever since. I never thought we’d see the day when they’d be brave enough to ever learn. They surprised me even more so when they did it on their own without our help. Way to go girls!
This last week we invited a friend of Mirian’s over to play and found in the process she had taught herself how to ride her bike without training wheels. So while she was here a 4 year old tried to teach my four year old how to do by herself. Mirian picked up pretty quickly but was still struggling with part of it. When Savannah got home Mirian showed her how close she was getting which resulted in Savannah asking me to take off her training wheels too. They kept falling but were tough and just kept practicing and practicing despite how difficult it was to learn in our small narrow driveway. If Maddie could do it they could too. Finally at one point Mirian fell and hurt her knee a bit, cried and demanded that this is why mom and dad should make them wear knee pads, elbow pads, and helmets. I explained that me and dad learned how to ride a bike with out them and fell many times too. It made us tougher and made us not want to fall as much, we lived, and we learned how to ride a bike. We figured out a way to pad those knees a bit more though so the fall wasn’t so rough – dad’s socks.
So when dad got home on Saturday from doing his two days of Philmont training for Boy Scouts they wanted to go over to the big church parking lot and show him. Mirian picked it up almost immediately now that she had lots of room to swerve and figure it out. She just takes off at top speed (in which you hope she doesn’t crash) and was tearing around the parking lot, hitting the breaks and burning rubber coming to a complete stop. She has some Tippetts blood in her. It was a moment where you were super proud of her. She figured it out all by herself and did it. She was determined and accomplished it.
Savannah is Miss Hesitant, barely pushing hard enough on the pedal to get the bike barely moving. Trying to convince her that it’s easier to stay upright if she moves faster was a little tougher than Mirian. She finally picked it up. She is still is more hesitant, crashes a bit more, but she too figured it out by herself. They were so proud of themselves, and have been wanting to ride their bikes ever since. I never thought we’d see the day when they’d be brave enough to ever learn. They surprised me even more so when they did it on their own without our help. Way to go girls!
Monday, March 1, 2010
Would like a new camera
Am I totally dreaming to hope that I could win this one. It would be one happy day. :)
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