A is for Apple

Here is my small creative result for the week. A is for Apple.

Our Day....

Our day started with some zucchini muffins and scrambled eggs. Yummm... the muffins were soooo good. We then did some picking up and then jumped into some spelling, grammar and literature. This is where the complaining always begins with Mirian. This girl does not like reading or writing. Or so she tells me. She does just fine with it, she just doesn't like worksheets, phonics or practicing it at all. She's a hands on girl. It's hard to explain to her that the only way to practice writing is to ummm..... write. This is where I need to start being creative in this particular subject, because it's the most important stuff she can learn, and I really want her have a love for reading and writing.











She doesn't mind the Literacy so much, as she does love reading books, and hearing stories. It always helps too when there's an activity to go along with it. Today she got to create a postcard to send to the timid mouse in a story that complains all the time and looks for the negative. (How applicable after this morning.) She was to give the mouse advice on how to be happy. She decided to tell him to be grateful for what he was.













Art time for Savannah was illuminated manuscripts and creating one of her own initial.




Mirian was doing mono printing. Oh how I forgot about printmaking. I took a class in college and how I loved it. I forgot how much specifically mono printing is a personal favorite. Unfortunately I was fixing lunch while they were doing their project, and didn't have the chance to sit down and do some prints up myself. Something I definitely need to do in some down time.









Basically you paint your picture on a baking sheet, plexi-glass or any other smooth surface. Try to get a good even coat so it doesn't dry out . After painting the image, you can then use an eraser to draw additional elements or lines removing the paint for more detail.









You then lay your paper on top of the paint and rub it well. If the paint is pretty dry you can dampen your paper before placing it on the paint, to help it print better.







You then pull off the paper and you have a mono print. They are so easy and fast. Mirian made about 5 of them. Even Caitlyn and Isaac got in on the fun. Savannah was wanting to join is as well if she didn't have a separate assignment.




















Savannah studied the feudal era today for history and created a mobile of the different feudal systems, and people that lived in that era of time.












Mirian has been studying nomads and their way of life. The last two lessons were on how the nomads ended up in the fertile crescent and began to settle and create villages in Mesopotamia.






Mirian is always funny when it comes to questioning her about a lesson and what she learned. I asked her during the last lesson if she remembered what the land was called between the two rivers. She stated that she didn't know. Her usual answer to anything and so I reminded her. The funny thing is that I know she remembers. Why? Because this weekend when they were all playing "family" together. Mirian kept calling out to her little daughter. "Mesopotamia! Mesopotamia come here!" Hmmm.. a little ironic that she remembered it well enough to name her daughter that. :)










So today we continued on with learning about the farmers that first settled there. How they farmed, grew crops and irrigated them. We talked about how they tamed animals and learned to raise herds of animals like goats and sheep. We discussed how they built their first homes. Later they started building them closer together to help each other and soon we had small villages. As they became more prosperous they were worried about people harming them or stealing things so they began to build big walls around their villages. The city of Jericho having the largest walls in the area.










As an option to the lesson we could create our own bricks from dirt. (Which I think we still might do.) Or we could create a small diorama of the first villages. Mirian voted for the village. It's hard to determine whether to do some of these optional activities. You know how much time they'll take, making it so you might not be able to move on to another area of curriculum. Yet you know that these are things that make learning fun. So I decided to go for it. So we built our little village and added the different elements we had learned about. Huts, crops, rivers, tamed animals, and stone walls.










Mirian had a great time and it's fun to see the others get involved as well.







They had such a good time that later they started adding their own things as well. Like the raft to go up and down the rivers.







And of course you have to have people to live there.













So they could all live next to each other in their little huts. They played with it all evening.












Savannah even decided she needed to create her own tonight before bed. They were so proud of the fact that she created it so they could hook the crops or rivers together with each other to create even a larger village.






I have to admit that these are the parts I enjoy the most about learning as well. Forget worksheets, let's build one ourselves.

Small Simple Things

In the process of homeschooling, I've had to find a balance between all the different areas of my life. One of them being the design aspect. My days are filled with school. There is no longer a time when my kids are all gone at the same time to allow me time to work on a design project. My mornings are sometimes filled with prepping for school, and the evenings are filled with church callings, assignments or getting caught up on the house. It didn't take long though before I realized I still had to fit some small design time in. For the pure enjoyment and break that it gives me to be creative. Also to still help a little bit with that income while things are tight, the economy is rough and as we prepare to be in a good spot when Beau graduates so he can start up his own company. In reality I can't do it all. I can't give all my time to designing, homeschool, home and church. So I've had to find balances. Part of that balance is going back to the scripture that kept calling to me at the beginning of the year. That it's the small simple things that bring great results.

"Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6











At the beginning of the year I decided I was going to conduct an experiment. I knew I needed to somehow increase the income from my designing, to help prepare us better for the future. I also knew I needed to cut down any time designing, so I could focus on my family and other obligations. I decided to focus on small simple projects. Specifically the JIF 6 Kits. I love making them, they are fast, and they easily let me get my idea out, and move on.















If I was working on large kits they would take too long to create, and demand too much of my time. I would loose my excitement over the idea, and it took longer to get in the store. Even though they would bring in 3 or 4 times the amount of money they didn't feel worth it for some reason. I ended up reading this scripture and felt that the small simple things were better. I could easily get a JIF kit out a week. It only had 6 parts to it. I could do one part every day for only 15 minutes if needed and then be able to release it at the end of the week. It was doable. It took up very little time from my day and family. The results? It worked. My income increased quite a bit, even though what I am creating sells only for a small amount. I saw how this simple small kit did bring about great things. Life got in the way and I had club to work on so I haven't made any in a while, but now I find myself in the same position. I have even less time than before now that I'm homeschooling. Yet what can I do for my sanity and to also help out financially? The answer is the same. The simple things. So I've been working on small JIF kits here and there. I can do one small element a day, and yet feel like I get some creative down time. I can still feed that artist in me. I also feel a huge sense of accomplishment when I see the final results. Especially knowing I didn't have to sacrifice my family or my time to do it. It really is in the small things.

















I've also been applying the principle to my home. While teaching all day, I don't have huge chunks of time to do major cleaning. So I'm slowly getting rid of stuff. I can focus on one small aspect at a time. If the only small thing I did in cleaning a bedroom (that needs an overhaul) is picking up all the clothes and washing them, then I'm one small step ahead. Tomorrow I can pick the next thing. By the end of the week it will be finished.

It's the small 15 minute chunks of our time that can do great things.

Some people have asked me how I do it all. The answer? I don't. I let things go that don't really matter. I don't have an immaculate house. I try and just focus on doing the small simple things now, and trusting the Lord in his promise that it will bring about great things over time.

So here have been some of the small things I've been designing lately with my small amount of time.

What I've Learned So Far

It's been over a month since starting our home school journey.   What have I been learning so far?

• I don't have as much time to blog about it as I would like.
• It has gone smoother than I anticipated.
• What Savannah's teacher really meant when she had issues with her getting distracted.
• How my children prefer to learn.
• What character flaws we all need to be working on.
• How nice it is to be able to change up the day when needed, rather than having to depend on the public school hours.
• How much I need to eliminate in my life and home in order to keep life simpler. 
• How much fun we can have together.
• My weaknesses.
• And these are just the beginning.

It has been going well so far.  Actually better than I thought it would. I am definitely learning on how to tweak things or how to swap things up when someone isn't in the mood to do anything for the day.  We also decided to start the girls with piano lessons this fall as well. Savannah is picking it up so fast, Mirian is struggling with it.  I don't want her to end up hating it because she has the artist soul. She's the one with the music already playing inside her. So her piano teacher and I have decided to go at her own pace. If that's only working on one song for the week, great.  That has helped her attitude adjust greatly.  Mirian has to do things differently.  Which is ok.  They are both unique. That's the beauty in it all and part of the reason I wanted to teach my children in the first place. To be able to work with those individual differences and hopefully help them become the who their Heavenly Father needs them to be, each with their unique missions.

Our Little Home

I read a post titled "When I Let Go of 'Someday Happiness' " today.  What a great post. I can relate in so many ways. We have a tiny little home. Just a little over 900 square feet. Luckily we do have a small garage with storage and a room attached that has become our office.  That helps it not feel as cramped as the apartment we were in before.  It is small.  We often get comments on how small it really is and that we need a bigger one, with more cupboards, and yet we are perfectly content and happy here.

Yes having only one bathroom for 7 can get pretty rough sometimes. But I like it. I like the fact that having a small place makes me dejunk and get rid of things on a regular basis. It makes me evaluate if we really need "this" item or thing. It makes me wonder how many extra dishes do we really need, if a few will do just fine.  It feels cozy, and it's home.  It's where we've laugh,  played, cried, and just enjoyed being a family, and right now I'm completely content with it.

Sometimes I do dream about a big large home, with more land, more animals and places for my kids to wander, and then sometimes I think... you know, having more just creates more work. I also look out my window and see our white picket fence my husband built. I see the new cedar fence he just finished in the back yard, with a secret hidden swinging door for the neighbor kids. I watch my kids holler from the top of their tree house, and see how my small little garden is over running the whole yard.  I'm blessed.  I'm truly blessed to have a place we can call our own. That we can work on and fix up slowly, and that settles in our hearts a bit more.

I think when we first got married we planned on being here for 4 years till the Bachelor was finished. Then... we decided to stay and continue on with grad school.  10 years later when he graduates (next April), we will still be here.  In a tiny little home with 5 kids, and life is good. Really good.  We always thought we would then move on, get a great job somewhere and move on with our life.  Now we are planning on staying a few more years for Beau to start up his own company with a couple other guys.  What will happen after that?  I can't say. I've given up trying to guess.

Last summer I did not want to stay here. I wanted to move on with our lives. It was then that I went to girls camp.  I left after that week knowing the Lord needed us here and I wanted to stay.  I have come to love the people that we've served with. I have loved seeing the growth happening in our ward and stake. I think of picking up and moving.... and honestly I don't know if I want to.   Only the Lord really knows where he wants us, and if it's still in this little green house, then I'm perfectly content with that.  Because right now that little green house truly is home.

The Dangers of a Pregnant Mind

(This post was written a few months ago, and I just realized it never got posted.  Thought I'd still share.)

It was the annual weekend. The fathers and sons got to get out and enjoy their manliness, without the women around to tell them to grow up. The women were home wondering what they could do for a girls night out, and what to make for dinner that required no effort, since the husband wasn't home to impress. I had it all set up in my mind... go grab something to eat, stop by the fabric store with the girls on the way home and pick up some material to make the new baby some clothes. I was going to enjoy this night. It was then that I glanced out of the window and gasped. My van was gone! I don't know where my mind had taken a trip to all afternoon making no connection with the fact that my husband would need a way to get to this manly outing. Sigh... time to make new plans.

Free delivery? What could we get delivered for dinner besides pizza. America's favorite has not sounded appetizing lately. Sandwiches... That did sound good but by the time I totaled the cost up $20 compared to the $1 I would spend by making our own seemed ridiculous enough that I gave in realizing I was going to have to make some effort for dinner. Grilled cheese, ham, tomato and avocado. (That of course was mine. I have 3 other girls at home remember. Green and red things don't go over well on their sandwiches.) Some cantaloupe along with it and it wasn't too bad. Our outing was no longer possible, which of course led to a movie night. The girls actually went to bed early. I actually crafted for fun and all seemed well in the world.

It was then that I remembered that I had ordered a bountiful basket full of amazing fruit and veggies that were supposed to be picked up at 6:45 in the morning. I know. Who in their right mind would be up at 6:45 on a saturday. Only pregnant women, dreaming about eating healthy and saving money, who can't sleep past that time anyway because their back is in so much pain, and their bladder is screaming for relief. Ah... but this seemed so simple. Go pick it up in less than 15-20 minutes, and go back to bed if I wanted. But remember the dilemma. My pregnant brain went on leave when I ordered this basket, and forgot that I would have no vehicle to pick it up. I guess we just miss picking it up and have it donated... but I just can't let that go because that is literally just throwing money way. So I could... get up even earlier and walk there with the wagon. Hmmm... 6:45 was early enough for me, and at 8 months pregnant a 45 minute exercise routine pulling an awkward wagon, with a laundry basket filled with produce was NOT screaming to be the viable option. Besides if I was going to be gone that long, I would have to wake up the kids and bring them with me... this option was at the bottom of the list.

Bike... hook up the trailer to the bike and I could stick the produce in the trailer. That would be a lot faster. Surely at 8 months pregnant it was still perfectly safe for me to perch myself precariously on the top of a bike and assume that my balance is exactly the same as it is when I'm not pregnant. Something told me to not even consider this idea.

It was then that I remembered the truck. YES! The truck. We do have two vehicles now. It's a classic, used, beat up pickup truck brought straight from my father in law's used vehicle lot in his back pasture. Beau's been driving it around and it seems to work great. He mentioned the steering wheel was a little bit of a problem, but hey, I could do this. Plus I could get there quick, and be home in 15 minutes. That was the plan. Take the truck in the morning.

After digging all over in the house for an alarm clock, which we had abandoned since the 2nd day we were married, (due to always using Beau's cell as an alarm) I set it for 6:30 so I could be up, get the truck started and be on my way. That followed with a long night of the girls joining me in bed. I'm sure they could sense my loneliness and my need to have only about a foot of room to move my pregnant body around in the night to sleep. I woke up determined to get the produce and get right back home to bed.

After gathering my stuff, finding the wrong truck key, and finally getting the right one, hopped in enjoy the nostalgic smell of old trucks... I'm sure it was that small calming smell of my dad's old pickup that I grew up with that gave me even more confidence that I could do this. I looked around to familiarize myself with everything only to realize it was stick shift instead of an automatic. Hey no problem though. I pride myself on being pretty good with a stick shift, it being my first choice. It was then that things started to get a bit more complicated. I realized that manly trucks were not made for short pregnant women. Whoever built them knew that the only person driving this truck was going to be at least 6 ft. tall.

I could work with this. I just needed to scoot up on the edge of the seat. Ouch. That wasn't going to work, the 8 month old baby was in the way. A slight recline? This might be a bit more difficult, reclining slightly so I could push the brake all the way to the floor. It took 3-4 times to get the truck started. I should have taken that as a sign from heaven to leave it off and return to bed. Ah but after hearing it roar alive, I was ready. After two lerches forward it died. Then started rolling backwards. I slid down so I could push the breaks and stop it from rolling. Hmm this was getting pretty technical. How do I keep it from rolling, when I needed my left leg off the brakes to push the clutch in. The last thing I needed was the whole truck to land in the 1 ft. deep rain gutter. I'm just going to have to do it all quick.

The only problem is that pregnant brains can't work as fast, and calculate all the variables as fast as they need to be in order to account for all possible issues you might face while trying to get the truck in motion quickly. I started it, and while holding down the clutch gunned it so it wouldn't die, and was able to smoothly get the truck moving. (Now that I'm thinking after the fact, I was so concerned about getting the truck out and moving quickly I didn't even look to see if any cars were coming up from behind.) Some days I know I have a whole legion of angels hanging on to me for dear life.

Once I was moving though, my brain was not quite working quickly enough to determine the next steps. I know I needed to slow down to turn the corner, but if I slowed down, would it die, did I need to shift down? I tried to shift down, only to not have it shift and careen over into the other lane across the street, because I had forgot to turn the wheel. Or at least when I realized I needed to turn the wheel I forgot that it took all of my weight thrown into the wheel to get it to move. At this point on I was on the other side of the road and realized that if I didn't slow down I would find myself taking the sidewalk rather than the road, so I pulled up to the side of the road and parked backwards on the wrong side of the street. I wondered how many people were up at this time of morning, watching this escapade, and obviously driving impaired women make a fool of herself. Do they recognize the truck? Do they recognize me? It was best not to look around to realize you have a whole audience viewing your incompetence.

It was then that my confidence plummeted, and I realized that the odds of me making it there alive, with no accidents, or tickets was literally zero. I was ready to just park it there, and have Beau move it when he got home, but realized I would get ticketed because I was parked illegally. I had to make one more attempt to get it home. This time I wouldn't go as fast, so I could make the corners without shifting, was my plan. Somehow within the next block though, all knowledge of driving a manual went out the window. I lurched the whole way down the street, and if the loud engine, and screeching didn't wake the neighbors the horn that I kept hitting every time I lurched did. Any pride I had was gone. I was able to make it around the corner, and prayed that every corner would be car free so I wouldn't have to stop. After running through 2 stops signs I was finally able to make it around the block... yes 4 blocks to be exact, back to the front of the house, where I parked that baby, vowing to never get back inside.  That truck was a beast, and I was determined to leave it's manliness for my man.

My produce. Well forget it. It was going to have to be money thrown out the window, it wasn't worth my life nor the life I was carrying.  When my husband returned later that day, the first thing he said when he came into the house was, "Did you drive the truck?!"  All I could was start laughing. Drive the truck.  I don't  know if you would call it that. I told him what had happened, laughing the whole time.  He started laughing too.

"I'm impressed!" He replied.
"Don't mock me."
"No really, I'm impressed.  That isn't an easy truck to drive. I'm impressed you even tried.  Way to go. Look at my wife."

I'm sure if he had looked at me at the moment, he would have hid his face, and tried not to own me.  But whatever. I'll let him be impressed.

A Blessed Weekend

This weekend was a special weekend in our family. Savannah just recently turned 8, and was baptized a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints this last Saturday. It was such a special day for her and she has been looking forward to it for a long time. Grandma Astle made her baptismal dress, and she shared her baptism day with her friend Melissa. We were able to enjoy family from both sides of the family in town for the weekend as well. I am so proud of her and her decision to get baptized, and so excited for her to have the gift of the Holy Ghost. It will be the greatest blessing she can ever have in this life if she learns to heed it's counsel.






We also had the opportunity to bless this little angel this weekend. Belén Joy. She has been such a delight and wonderful baby. Beau gave her a beautiful blessing. There is nothing I enjoy more than watching my husband use the priesthood to bless his family. This is one of those moments, along with Savannah's baptism that I am so grateful for a righteous husband who honors his priesthood and looks forward to opportunities like this to bless his family. What a marvelous gift our Father in Heaven has given us to access his power and use it to bless his children.



One of my favorite parts of her blessing is that as she seeks out the Holy Ghost and heeds it she will become a personification of her name - Joy. That she will draw people to the Savior and teach them of him and his ways. I know she is a joy to me. We have given all of our other children middle names from their ancestors to help them live up to their amazing heritage. For some reason Belen's middle name Joy just sort of came out and has stuck ever since. But to me it fits her in so many ways. One being that she is my joy after having two previous miscarriages before her.



What a wonderful weekend we had. Thank you family for supporting us, and being with us on these two very special days in our lives. You have no idea how much it means to us when you sacrifice time and money to come and support. We know it is not always easy, but we appreciate it in so many ways. We missed those of you that weren't able to make it, and know you support us as well. We hope to see you at future baptisms and special occasions.

Creative Play

This summer there was some down time where my kids pulled out the tangram puzzles and shapes. I love it when I see them break out of the box for what things are supposed to be used for and come up with their own ideas.

Savannah recently has been building miniature houses and furniture.  She's been using any found object I let her actually use for her little strawberry shortcake dolls.  It's been fun to see her mind start to think about what other creative ways to use them.

Magnifiers and Money

The other day I ran across an infographic about money that I thought was fun. So I printed it out and for an afternoon activity pulled out the magnifying glasses, some dollar bills and had the kids see what they could find hidden on the US dollar.

I was wanting to create a learning station for money, since it's something both Savannah and Mirian will be learning about in their curriculum.  It would have our fake coins and bills for them to practice counting. To create their own stores and practice buying and selling, I'll have receipt books, price stickers and calculators.  There will also be money flash cards and games, a coin collecting book or sleeve, and I thought this activity could go in there as well. I'm going to laminate the dollar bill (so that it doesn't keep disappearing into children's pockets), and put in the poster laminated with a magnifying glass. I think it's fun to sit down and find out a bit more about the symbols and items printed on the dollar bill. It would also be fun to include some books about money or how it's printed too.

My Answer is Not Your Answer

I just wanted to say thanks to all of you that emailed me, posted comments or gave me a phone call with words of encouragement. Sometimes that's all you need is just a bit of encouragement, and not a list of questions, concerns or arguments. So thank you.

It was interesting though as I was talking with Beau and sharing those thoughts I had the first time, what other things I learned. I felt like people were thinking I was making a rash decision without having any thought about it. I started to realize that I respond the same way sometimes. I recognized that I also do it when others tell me about some decision they have made. It might not be the same decision I would have chosen. And even though I might not say it out loud, how often do I question why they made that decision. I question what they were thinking. I too forget that they didn't make this decision just quickly either. Instead I need to trust them that they are also doing things for their family or themselves that they feel is right and the best thing. Too often I think it's just our carnal nature to make judgments and come to conclusions too quickly. That never helps anyone. How much better we need to be at supporting each other in these decisions we make as mothers and wives, and help and build each other.

We are all so different. Our families are so different. Our children are oh so very different. That is what makes this world such a beautiful place. We will all need to find out what the Lord needs us to do with our unique circumstances and family. That is what I love so much about personal revelation. As long as we are doing the best we can to seek out the Lord's guidance and to have his spirit with us, we know that we can make decisions that will be best for our families and that all will be well. It doesn't matter if it doesn't fit someone else's circumstances. Too often we ask Why? Why are you doing that? Why did you think that? Why are you pursuing that direction? And often as women we feel like we need to justify and rationalize all of our decisions, that we need to defend them when we are questioned - why? When ultimately it comes down to. Did we pray about it? Did the Lord give us a direction to follow? Did we follow it? Are we at peace? Then that's all that matters. It should be the end of the conversation. When someone asks why, sometimes instead of defending it till we are blue, I wonder if we should just be saying... "That's the direction the Lord told us to go, so that's where we're headed. We feel peace and know that it will ultimately be the best thing for us." And when we get an answer like that we should respond, that's AWESOME, and then give them support. We should be supporting each other as women in the personal revelation we receive in our lives and the direction we are going.

My sister also made the comment that she thinks many times we respond out of insecurities. Do we hear what someone else is doing, and then start comparing ourselves against them and their choice. Well should I be homeschooling my children then? Am I a bad mom if I'm not teaching them? Is it bad if I want them to go to public school? etc. We start making ourselves feel less, or comparing ourselves with others. It's the terrible plague of women. Comparison. It's hard. I do it all the time myself. We need to stop being so hard on ourselves. We need to ask ourselves the same question when we feel that we are starting to compare ourselves to others. Did I pray about it? Did the Lord give me a direction to follow? Did I follow it? Am I at peace? Then that's all that matters. We can encourage and support that woman going in a different path, and be at peace and content in our own path knowing that we are following the Lord's personal guidance for us. I've loved this quote from the book Contentment by Maria Covey Cole.

"However at times in my adulthood, the "five metastasizing cancers," as my father calls them - comparing, competing, criticizing, complaining and complacency - have reared their ugly heads in an effort to divert me from my divine mission and discourage me from accepting the Lord's guidance. I've found that engaging in any of these behaviors can lead to feelings of discontentment. Unless we are particularly vigilant, it is easy to, as the saying goes, get caught up in the "thick of very thin things," ultimately distracting us from the true purpose of life."





Isn't it wonderful that if we really seek out the Lord's council, we know that he will give us the direction we need to go for everything in our lives for our own personal unique circumstances. Isn't it awesome that if we seek that guidance and council, and follow it, we can be content and happy knowing we are doing the best thing for our family and not have to worry about comparing our way to someone else's. We will feel content, we will prosper and grow, and we can be supportive of others in their directions knowing that we too are going in our own individual direction with the Lord as our guide.

Too bad it's not always that easy to follow. :) Too bad it's so easy to quickly start making those judgments, start comparing ourselves and then starting to feel less than we are and start doubting our own direction. I need to do better. I need to learn to recognize what I'm doing sooner. I need to stop worrying what everyone will think when my kids are outside playing for the 15 minute break, and if the neighbors are wondering why they aren't in school. I need to stop worrying about the opinions of others.




Maybe I really am too often holding that precious white fruit of personal revelation in my hand, and even eating it, yet the whole time looking at the great and spacious building of people mocking, questioning, and telling me I'm crazy eating that fruit, when they have things so much better and easier. Maybe I'm listening too much to them and while eating that fruit questioning if they are right. How much better it would be if I turned and focused my eyes on the giver of that fruit. I also need to turn and focus on the others there eating the fruit too, who might need my encouragement to not listen to those in the building, and encourage them that they made the right choice too. Instead of questioning and comparing, let us support, encourage and build. Each in their own direction, choice and way, because my answer is not your answer.

A Word of Caution: I do not believe though that we should be supportive to those things that are contrary to the gospel of Jesus Christ and his teachings. We do not need to be so supportive to all things that we find ourselves also building up the kingdom of the devil and his teachings. Let us be supportive and loving of the person, but we cannot and should not support wickedness. This is something else I've been pondering about lately. How do we help, support and love individuals, but stand strongly against those things that part of the devils kingdom and are out to destroy the Lord's plan. How do we stand up against false teachings, ideas, behaviors and practices, when society accepts them, creates laws to protect wickedness, and we are seen as intolerant if we choose to do so. I'd love to hear any insights from you.

A Road Less Traveled

Recently Beau and I have made a decision that is taking our family on a new adventure.  We have decided to participate in Provo's e-school and begin teaching our kids at home. Yep, we are on the adventure of homeschooling. It has been interesting to see the responses we get from others when they ask us if our kids go to school, and we inform them that we're homeschooling them this year.  You get surprised looks. You get lots of advice, warnings and opinions from anyone and everyone. Especially in the LDS culture, it isn't something that you see very often.

As Beau and I were discussing the reactions we've gotten from people, I ended up finally being able to express something I had been feeling but couldn't quite put my finger on it.  It was the response I had felt to those that responded with, "Why?"  "Don't get extreme on us." "You're going to ruin your children for life." It was as if they felt like we had just suddenly in the spur of the moment, (while out of our right minds), ran down and withdrew our kids from school.  That now we are going to blindly teach them at home, withdraw ourselves from the world, and end up creating socially misfit children who can't make it in the "REAL" world. When getting this reaction I want to reply with...

"You know... it's not like this was just a sudden decision, which we have given no thought to. On the contrary we have been looking into doing this with our children for the last 2 years. I have studied and tried to read everything I could on the topic. We have been weighing the pros and cons for those two years, and have had many  major thoughtful discussions with my husband.  We wanted to make sure we were both in agreement and on the same page.  We have prayed about it over and over, trying to know what is right for our family.  Last year we considered doing it, and didn't feel like it was right yet.  We knew that we needed to leave the option open, learn all we could about what is available and ways to do it, so that if it ever came to a point that we decided to do it, we were educated in our decision.  We have looked at the issue that everyone brings of "socialization." We even started doing a bit during the summer with the program we were wanting to use. We wanted to see how it went, how to fit it into our lives, and see what the kids thought.  We've asked the kids what they would like to do as well. They voted to be home.  It literally wasn't until about 2-3 weeks before school started up for the year that we knew it was time to just do it.  We felt that confirmation that we need to do it.  We have felt the peace of that decision ever since, and we are honestly excited about the possibilities, growth and experiences we'll get from it.  We did not make this decision alone, the Lord was part of it.  Did we just make this decision overnight.  No it's been a process over the  years.  Do we feel good about it. We feel really good about it. Is homeschooling for everyone. No. It's not even an option for some. But for us it is the right thing to do in our life right now."

Here are a few of my personal reasons though why I've chosen to do this.

We sent our kids to school last year and Savannah was not happy. We saw lots of changes in her that were not the best, and she fought about going to school every day. By the end of the school year we were back to seriously contemplating it again and praying about it. I was physically sick about the thought of sending her back to school. I did not feel good about it.  I wanted to teach her myself and bring her home. I wanted to give her time with me that she needed and was wanting.

The more I started studying the church's handbook for my calling, and general conference addresses, I started feeling more and more that it was my responsibility to teach my children.  That as parents Beau and I will have the greatest influence on our children. We are the ones that know our children the best, and can help them become what they need to be. I started recognizing what little amount of time I had to teach them.  Especially when they were gone all day to school.  The things that I wanted to teach them the time to do it weren't matching up.  

I also started to see that I was spending more time on things that didn't matter and that in reality my time should be spent in raising my children to the best of my ability. I started to realize that my kids were growing and time was flying by. Was I truly enjoying this time of life and moments with them? I started seeing that what my kids wanted most was me. Time with me and Beau. Time together as a family.  When Savannah was asking for things, it wasn't time with her friends, it was one on one time with Beau or I.  I started looking to see if I truly loved being with my kids all the time. Did I want to be with them?  Did I want to spend time with them?  Did I enjoy being a mom?  Or was I seeing them as constantly distracting me from other things I wanted to do more.  Did I find myself giving them other things to do to get out of my hair. I started recognizing that there were times I needed to change my attitude towards my greatest calling as a mother.  It was going to be my eternal calling, and if I didn't enjoy it here. I would not want it there in the next life either. I started realizing I needed to change some attitudes in myself.

So we are embarking on a new journey in our family. In the two weeks since we've started it has been going better than I thought it would.  There is much to learn, many ways to grow, and changes that need to happen. But it excites me and I know they will be good.  I feel good about it in so many ways.  The hardest part has been feeling that I'm paddling my boat in the opposite direction and against the current of our culture, especially the LDS culture, which I honestly don't understand. I feel ostracized in many aspects.  That's what can happen when your take the road less traveled on.  But it is helping me see things that I didn't see from the other side.  

I want to record it. I want to do better at recording our families history, growth and life.  I plan on posting a lot on here when time permits. I hope you'll join me here.  For both the good and the bad that I know will come with it all.