Our Tough Muddy Dad

This weekend Beau participated in the Tough Mudder Competition that was here in Utah. As they say "probably the toughest event on the planet."  He was part of a team of friends and a couple of his brothers.  After lots of rain the previous day and evening, he knew it looked like it was going to be a pretty chilly day.  I ended up deciding that it would probably be best if I not go and take the kids.  They wouldn't have lasted that long in the cold, and I don't know if I would have lasted long physically or emotionally myself if I was dealing with meltdowns all day while I still recover. We sent our love and support and told his parents to take lots of picture and videos so we could watch. 

Here they are getting ready to begin, those happy smiles won't last too long.

This was the course of  12 miles and 21 obstacles.  Most of the obstacles were out of view for those watching, and so most of the pictures we have are of only a few of the obstacles.



The first obstacle of the day - the kiss of mud.  Lucky for them the live wires weren't quite working yet.

 Mud pit after mud pit.

 

Lots and Lots of water.

Hurting, cold, tired, hungry and exhausted.

By this point near the end of the obstacles they had no grip left in their hands, and with the bars rolling it was impossible for any of them to stay on it.

Everest or the half pipe was one of the last obstacles. By this point they were so sore and exhausted. All of them but one was able to make it up.

The final event is here in video.  Electroshock therapy.  Next time Beau will just walk past it. There's one thing to prove and push yourself in a tough obstacle, and one that just hurts and gives pain.  You'll see one of his team members in the video get hit wrong. It make him black out, fall and implant his open eye into the mud and straw.  It came out caked, and took a while for the EMT's to clean it out, and they still missed peices. Hopefully it didn't damage it too bad. Hours later, exhausted, hurting and cold they officially finished! 

 He said it was a lot of fun. He enjoyed seeing how he could push himself, he loved the camaraderie that you feel with everyone, as your helping strangers and other team members so that everyone can finish. He'd do it again except for the Electric Shock.  So we'll see come next June when it's in Utah again if they're up for another round.

The kids were so excited to hear all about it. They had been watching all the videos online to know the obstacles and what he would be doing.  Isaac wanted to keep his headband he earned by finishing. I told him he didn't earn it, he'd have to earn his own someday.   The kids also made a poster for him when they he got home.

 Here's Isaac's.  His dad with the electric shocks and the half pipe he had to climb.

Savannah's showing how tough he is in protecting our family.

Mirians. I just love this one.  They all have mustaches, because many grow them for it showing their manhood and toughness.

Here's Caitlyn's.  Mud all over his face and the wires that he had to climb through. I love how they all have their own interpretation of it.

He can hardly walk now, exhausted and drinking lots of fluids, and need of a massage, but had a great time doing and we are proud of him! Way to go Dad!

Last Weekend

 As I mentioned in my earlier post I was excited about our opportunity to hear from our prophet and church leaders at our bi-annual general conference. I really do look forward to this time of year and we have tried to find ways to help our kids enjoy the 8 hours of conference.  Last year we took a family home evening right before conference to talk about what General Conference was. I had some cards of the prophet, the quorum of the twelve and the first presidency.  They had fun facts and information from their lives, and we had each of our little kid pick their apostle they wanted to learn about and pay special attention to at general conference. We had them learn about the apostle and then share something what they had learned with the rest of the family.  We should have done it again this year, but due to recovery it didn't happen. It didn't matter of course because they still remember their apostles to this day, and ask us to reconfirm that when they suddenly see them speaking. "Is this my prophet?" "Is this Mirian's prophet." It's so fun to see them recognize them, know something fun about them, know their names and are more willing to listen to them because they feel like they have a personal connection. (Sorry for my blurry pictures. Not sure what is up.)

The best part is how excited they get to watch it. Beau and I awoke Saturday morning to "Isaac don't do that! You're ruining our desks for general conference."  I hadn't felt well all week to make them conference packets of activities, bingo, and note taking pages.  But that didn't seem to matter to them. They knew it was conference and they were taking matters into their own hands.  They had pulled out the benches and had set up their "own" little cubicles for watching conference. Snack cups, pencil holders, paper, crayons, etc.  They were ready to go.  I am so glad they have a positive feeling and experience with conference. I hope they love to watch it their entire lives, slowly gaining more and more from it as they get older.

My dear friend Amy stopped by right before the first session unexpectedly with a conference basket for the kids full of crayons, activity books, treats, snacks and lunch for us. It was so sweet of her and totally made my kids whole day. 

At the end of the two days I asked my kids to tell me some things that they had learned about conference. It's always amazing that they can each tell me at least two or three concepts or directions from talks, even though they aren't able to hold out for all 8 hours. Mostly 2 hours, and then the prophet's talk. But they were telling me things from talks that I wasn't even sure they were listening to.  I love seeing them even leaving with one thing they remembered from the talks.

Mirian and Savannah did a page about their favorite talk in the morning session. It made me smile which one they picked.

Between sessions Beau and the kids worked more on the yard, by Saturday night they were filthy and the bathwater was basically mud.  We are getting so much closer to getting the yard back to semi-normal.

We were also excited to hear about the change in ages for missionary service.  I was excited, and although it didn't have an immediate impact on me (since Isaac is only 5), I did suddenly think, that it's very likely that my girls will now have the opportunity to serve missions. They could now be serving missions too, which I don't know that I ever really counted on. I'm feeling that if I really teach them right, and help them develop that desire to serve that it's very likely they will go, and that is exciting to me. 

And what better way to end a post than with this cutie.  

My baby, running around and loving her green smoothie popcicle. Seriously. Can you get any cuter than this?  Here's to a great weekend in our home, I hope you were able to enjoy yours as well. 

   

The Lord will do nothing....

"The Lord will do nothing, but he revealeth his secret unto his servants the prophets."
Amos 3: 7

I love this time of year. It's the time of the year where the prophet of God will give the Lord's desires to all who will listen.  I believe that God has called a prophet and apostles to give direction to us today, just as he did in the Bible.  God still loves and cares for his children. He has always had a spokesman and prophet that he called and gave revelation to concerning all things.  I know for myself they are men of God, and have been called into the special calling of Prophets and apostles. I have been in congregations with many of them, and have felt the spirit testify that he has called them to direct the world today.  Why would he call Prophets through all dispensations of time and leave this dispensation alone, with no direction or guidance. He hasn't.  I love the fact that I can hear that direction and guidance regularly through the internet and other resources, but especially twice a year during general conference.  For two days they speak the will and mind of the Lord for us now.  I have been inspired, uplifted and given direction every time I have taken the time to sit down and hear what they have to say. Every time I have come to general conference with a question in mind... I have always received guidance and direction as to what I should do.

I think it's also a great opportunity to find out what the Mormon's believe. What we preach.  You can hear it straight from us.  At this time there is such a huge light on Mitt Romney as a presidential candidate, and being a Mormon. Many wonder what it is that he believes, what his faith is about. Who are the Mormons.  Here is your chance to sit and listen for yourself to the leaders of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints.  You can hear for yourselves what we preach and believe.  We'd love to have you join us.

It's broadcast here over the internet, 10:00 am MST and 2:00 pm MST, Saturday October 6 and Sunday October 7.  If you choose to listen, you will hear over the two day period from Thomas S. Monson who has been called as a Prophet of God, his Counselors, and the 12 apostles who have been called as special witnesses of Jesus Christ. You will also have the chance to listen to other church leaders who serve in various capacities over the youth, women, men, children or humanitarian efforts.

If you can't listen to it then. It will be posted on the internet here where you can re-listen, watch or read it after it concludes. I always love to revisit their messages through the years and next six months until they speak to us again.  I think if you sincerely watch and listen, you will have answers to your own questions answered, you will receive direction in your own life, no matter what denomination of faith you belong to. You will be uplifted and have a desire to be better, no matter your faith.  I hope you'll join me, and feel free to share your thoughts and experience watching it.  If you have any questions about it you can also feel free to email me or comment and I'd be happy to try and answer them for you.

My New Chore Method

I just want to thank all of you that have sent me well wishes, condolences and uplifting notes. They mean a lot. We are doing better. There's nothing like getting your hair cut to help you feel better too. (Thanks Marie for the home visit! ) We've had wonderful people taking our kids for part of the day so I can sleep, with visits and phone calls from many of you. We feel so loved and appreciated.

Right now my husband is doing my dishes, while watching a movie rigged to the window from his little tablet. According to him, they are almost tolerable (like running on a treadmill), if you have something to watch. (So your lucky Amanda, he'll spare you having to do the job.) Unfortunately it also takes him as long as the movie to get them done... so I'm still waiting to head to bed.  So here's a lighter blog post for you.

Chores...
Oh I love them. My kids adore them. We live for them. Yeah I wish. That has not been the attitude in our house. It has gotten a little bit better and I thought I would share my simple solution.  I have had a thousand different methods to getting them done. Chore charts, allowances, zones they were responsible for. You name it. The problem I kept running into was the arguing. "His zone isn't messy, it's not fair that I have to clean up his mess in my zone."  "I'm sick of doing the same chore over and over!  It's the hardest one."  I'm sure you've all heard them.  It also wasn't really helping in getting jobs done that needed done.  They'd be doing their assigned chores, but those weren't the messy areas or the jobs I needed help with.  So I changed my plan. So far it's been working out great.  So here it is:

I want my kids to get dressed and ready for the day as soon as possible. Make beds, pick up rooms, brush their teeth.  I don't want them in their pajamas still at noon. Which happens more frequently than it should.  I'd ask them to get ready and do their chores. I'd have to ask again, and again, and again... it was getting frustrating.

The next day I approached it differently. I declared that the first one ready for the day got to pick his chores first. The last person ready for the day had whatever chores were left.  These kids were dressed and ready in less than five minutes. They've never moved so fast. That's our new method of getting ready now. It actually happens quickly.

As for the chores... I now look around my house at what jobs actually need done.  I don't assign too many in the morning because I want to get started on school.  But if I have laundry piles, that goes on the chore list. If the floor needs picked up, that goes on the list. Only jobs that actually need done are on the list. I put enough chores on the list for 2-3 chores per kid. They get to pick which chores they would like in the order that they were ready for the day.  First one ready gets to choose all of his chores first from the list and write his name next to them. Then the next child ready gets to pick. And so on. The arguing has almost stopped. I now only hear complaints from the last person ready who didn't get what they wanted. It takes me explaining to him or her that they were up 2 hours ago. They could have gotten dressed and been ready before anyone else even woke and been the first one to choose. Instead they waited till last minute.

They now happily do their chores because they get to choose from the list. I usually have a couple of extras on there so that even the last person still feels like they have a choice. It's no longer so horrible to do the chore because they own it more.  Plus now the work that needs to be done is finally getting done.  If they get ready for the day, and do their morning chores then they can mark off their daily list to earn their extra money.

I've been doing it about a month, and so far it has beat all my other systems. Now I want to focus a bit more on training them to do a good job with their work and doing it correctly. How do you guys do chores. I'd love to hear any suggestions or tips.

Why I Homeschool: Life Lessons

I had different ideas for how I was originally going to write this post, and then life happened. It really happened. In the process I realized that I had a great opportunity to show you a real life example of what I would have been trying to explain in a post. Instead I can actually show you.

I feel pretty strongly that there are lessons that I want my children to learn that will not be learned best in the school system. Some can be practiced there, but to really learn them I believe you need time, unplanned moments, and you need real life examples that aren't part of a "planned curriculum."  Lessons about character, service, hard work, and life in general. Lessons that are only learned when you are actually living life.  There's nothing like learning about life and death than from the real experience of loosing someone or something. There's nothing like learning how to work, then spending all day doing hard, back breaking physical work. There's nothing like learning about service than doing it, or having it being done to you. There are certain life issues that you would learn at school as well, more than you might in a home environment. But to me the important thing was what teaching happens during these life lessons.

There were times when my kids were in school dealing with hard issues.  I didn't feel like I had adequate time to help them learn from it. I couldn't give them time needed between the few hours they were home and before they went to bed.  Between homework, any after school activities, dinner, chores, baths and getting ready for bed, there were few opportunities to deal with the real issues of life.  I wanted those teaching moments, that were short and fleeting. I wanted the opportunity and time to really help them work through them. I also wanted them to experience those magical moments that just happen, such as this one.

We had one of those life experiences this last weekend. It was a life experience that I've gone through before, but there always seems to be different lessons to learn. On Thursday I found out during an ultrasound at 16 weeks, that there was no heart beat. I had already felt that it was not going to be a good pregnancy, but that still never prepares you for the loss you feel, and the many emotions you'll go through. We hadn't told our kids yet that we were expecting, and so it was hard to explain "why I was crying" to them when I picked them up after the appointment.  They had that instant excitement of mom being pregnant to the sad "oh" of realizing that the baby had died.  They had an idea of what it meant since I had gone through 2 other ones, but they are still kids and not fully aware of what it entails.  But what an opportunity for everyone to learn.  

There's nothing like the moment later that evening, when I'm crying and Savannah puts her arm around me, hugs me and says. "Don't worry mom, Heavenly Father will make everything all right."

There's opportunities for priesthood blessings, to be comforted and blessed. To know that no matter what happens, we would be taken care of. Things went wrong with the miscarriage, I was hemorraging and after passing out a couple of times was taken to the ER via ambulance. Sitting and crying to my husband in the ER about how much I hate feeling like this. I hate being so weak and passing out. I hate the pain. I hate the fact that my body shuts down and they can't find an IV. I hate that an hour later, with sticks all over my arms they finally get one in so they can rush me into the operating room. I hate coming out of anesthesia, of just physcially feeling like crap, while emotionally being an absolute mess. I hate sitting there worrying about my children, because moms will just do that no matter how many times you tell them not worry about them.  But despite all that I hate about the experience, there were many blessings that still came out of it. Many lessons learned. Moments where the Lord showed his tender mercies through people, his earthly angels. 

I look back and started seeing his hand in it all. The phone call that was an answer to prayer, as we were desperately searching for someone to take the kids to a friends house. She called just in time, and got the kids just as Beau came back to the house and found me passed out. If he had taken them, and had been gone for too long, I could have been a lot worse. To also have had the knowledge from past miscarriages, that we could act quicker and get help faster. There was also the sister from our ward who happened to be one of my ER nurses. To just see a familiar face was such a welcome sight. 

There were the people who immediately jumped at the chance to watch all of my kids, to come and spend the night with them while we stayed over night in the hospital. Dozens of people who called, emailed and stopped by, asking how things were going and offered to help.  There have been so many meals brought, planned and unplanned from people showing they care.  Family members who helped out, took kids, gave support from a distance and sent paper plates since they couldn't be here to help.  

People who felt like they needed to just stop by and lighten my load, and brighten my spirit.  People who were here just because I didn't want to be left alone. My visiting teacher and dear friend who showed up at the hospital just as my blood pressured dropped. I started passing out, was scared to death and didn't have Beau around. She held my hand and cried with me till I started pulling out of it.  And just the love, dedication and service my husband alone has shown me. Who has willingly missed work, because I wasn't emotionally nor physically ready for him to leave me alone yet. Who is willing to come and be here just because I need him.

I have never felt so loved and so taken care of. Neither has my family. Last night Savannah told me before she went to bed. "Mom I feel like we are being treated like royalty. I feel funny, it doesn't seem right." She was experiencing for herself what it is like to let other people serve you, even when you may not feel like you deserve it. She was feeling it herself, after all the service and kindness she had been shown.  She was learning what real service is about.  It gave us the opportunity to talk about learning to let others serve us and making sure we do the same thing for others when they are in need of help.

They have also been learning for themselves what service means. We explained that physically my blood level is really low, and that I can't do very much at all. They are learning that they are going to have to help, chip in and serve mom so I can get better. They are realizing the need of being around family to help everyone heal during a time like this.  They have spent a lot of time at other peoples houses and today  expressed the desire to just want to be home with us.  A need that I have too. To just have my children around, to see my many blessings, and help heal the loss I still feel. But realizing that sometimes we still need to do things we'd rather not do, to help to long term goal - getting mom better.

They are learning the real lessons. The vital lessons. The ones that are the whole purpose of this earth life. The lessons that help us become more like Christ.  The lessons of how much God does love us, watches over us and helps us in times of need. The lessons of genuine service and love. That's not even counting the real science lessons they are learning too. What is a miscarriage? Why does it happen? How big was the baby? What did they do in surgery? Did it hurt? Why does it mean to go under? Why do you have bruises all over your arms? Why do they have these tubes hooked up to you? Why can't you do anything and how long will it take you to get better?  Why do you need to take iron (supplements)? Why do you need to sleep so much?  etc. 

It's times like this that although difficult to manage, because I do homeschool, I would never trade for anything. The things they are learning right now are priceless.

Homeschooling While Recovering

Last night I had two dear homeschooling friends bring me dinner and stay to visit.  I asked them "please tell me it's ok if I don't get any schooling in right now!" They both looked at me like I was nuts to even think about doing it and told me about their days so I could feel better. I physically can't do much, and don't last very long before I'm completely exhausted, burned out and needing a long long nap.  I just can't do what I was doing. In fact, I'm lucky to be getting anything done that requires lots of physical energy. I know that is part of the reason we homeschool - the flexibility. But I also knew that if we did something for school the kids would not be making messes, getting into trouble, or making it harder on me.

So I've tried to change my thinking, knowing that we wouldn't get normal school in, but looking for opportunities to get any learning in, or recognizing those learning moments when they did happen. So here is how school looked the last couple of days at our house.

Picking rocks outside with dad while mom slept - practicing counting, earning a penny for every rock picked, practicing adding their money, using tally marks, paying tithing, and spending money on a treat later. Plus learning hard physical work.

Reading books

Practiced Piano - Piano Lessons

Played a vowel game - identifying the vowel sounds in words. (Isaac's learning to read and everyone is helping)

Watched some educational movie clips and filled out a graph on the various types of weather and natural disasters, so mom could get some sleep after having a physical and emotional break down. Which lead to Isaac not wanting to sleep tonight because he was scared. "What if something bad happens like a flood, tornado or earthquake?"  We tried to address why he didn't need to worry about each of these issues. "What about poisonous gasses?" Caitlyn asked.  Obviously they all retained the information from the movies a little too well.

Did Math using one of the I Love Math books from Time life books. (My kids LOVE these books and love doing the Math inside of them.) Mirian and I sat on the couch for a good hour while I rocked Belen to sleep and went through almost the whole book.

The skills we practiced: Counting by 10's, counting, adding, and subtracting money, acute, obtuse and right angles, time, mapping skills and spatial sense, logical thinking, multiplication and division readiness, grouping.  She didn't want to stop. We might have done 1/2 of the book and practiced all of that. (At the bottom of each little section they tell you what skills your practicing, and give you additional activities you could do as well to expand it.) We first found them at my local library. I then picked them up really cheap through amazon for my kids to read and do anytime. They are ALWAYS taking these books to their rooms to read.

Photography - Mirian taking pictures for her online photography class assignment

Legos and Programming - building her Lego duck assignment and then programming it on the computer so it could move around. Savannah loves these sets.  They're the Lego WeDo sets that are made for the elementary age kid. Simple robotics for really young kids.  Isaac can even do it.  You build it with the instructions then you plug it into the computer, use a simple programming program to make it do what you would like.

Learning really can happen, even if you are unable to teach.

Why I Homeschool: My Heart

Disclaimer:  This series of posts is written to tell my story of why I decided to homeschool and what I have learned a long the way. These are my personal feelings and direction the Lord has given to me and my family. That does not mean they are your answers.  I don't want you to feel guilty at all nor that I'm telling you this is the only way. I write it because people have asked for honest answers to why I chose to do this, and I want to be completely open and honest back with them.

Every mother has them. Those days when you are completely exhausted, frustrated and you hope your children live to see their dad come home.  

Why I Homeschool: It's My Repsonsibility

Disclaimer:  This series of posts is written to tell my story of why I decided to homeschool and what I have learned a long the way. These are my personal feelings and direction the Lord has given to me and my family. That does not mean they are your answers.  I don't want you to feel guilty at all nor that I'm telling you this is the only way. I write it because people have asked for honest answers to why I chose to do this, and I want to be able to be completely open and honest back with them.

A couple of years ago the church released the new handbook, and we had gone to the trainings about it.  They promised us the more we studied it the more we would receive revelation for our callings. Elder Bednar told us that this handbook should also become the handbook for the home. I found that the more I studied it, the more I started getting personal revelation concerning my own family.   I started feeling very strong that it was my responsibility to teach and raise my children. Especially when it comes to the gospel, morals, and spiritual needs.  No other institution could do it better than me. In fact I love this quote by Ezra Taft Benson.

"You are the best teacher. This is the most effective teaching that your children will ever recieve. This is the Lord's way of teaching. The church can not teach like you can. The school cannot. The day center cannot. But you can, and the Lord will sustain. Your children will remember your teachings forever. Mothers, this kind of motherly teaching takes time - lots of time. This is your divine calling."  (Ezra T. Benson)

I had things in the Church handbook and other talks by the prophets and apostles stand out to me.  Emphasizing that is my responsibility to teach my children gospel principles and righteous ways of living.  Paragraphs like the ones below from the church handbook.

Parents have always been commanded to bring up their children “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4; Enos 1:1) and “in light and truth” (D&C 93:40). The First Presidency proclaimed:

“We call upon parents to devote their best efforts to the teaching and rearing of their children in gospel principles which will keep them close to the Church. The home is the basis of a righteous life, and no other instrumentality can take its place or fulfill its essential functions in carrying forward this God-given responsibility.

“We counsel parents and children to give highest priority to family prayer, family home evening, gospel study and instruction, and wholesome family activities. However worthy and appropriate other demands or activities may be, they must not be permitted to displace the divinely-appointed duties that only parents and families can adequately perform” (First Presidency letter, Feb. 11, 1999).

Parents have the primary responsibility for helping their children know Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ (see John 17:3). Latter-day Saint fathers and mothers have been commanded to teach gospel doctrines, ordinances, covenants, and ways of righteous living to their children. (seeD&C 68:25–28). 

I started feeling the huge realization that when the day came to stand before God
The problem I was running into was that I felt like I did not have adequate time to be able to do that.  I started feelin

Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less  distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children more time eating together, more time
working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all. Their goal is to prepare a rising generation of children who will take the gospel of Jesus Christ into the entire world. Their goal is to prepare future fathers and mothers who will be builders of the Lord’s kingdom for the next 50 years. That is influence; that is power. - Julie B. Beck

A few years ago, Bishop Stanley Smoot was interviewed by President Spencer W. Kimball. President Kimball asked, “How often do you have family prayer?”

Bishop Smoot answered, “We try to have family prayer twice a day, but we average about once.”

President Kimball answered, “In the past, having family prayer once a day may have been all right. But in the future it will not be enough if we are going to save our families.”

I wonder if having casual and infrequent family home evening will be enough in the future to fortify our children with sufficient moral strength. In the future, infrequent family scripture study may be inadequate to arm our children with the virtue necessary to withstand the moral decay of the environment in which they will live. Where in the world will the children learn chastity, integrity, honesty, and basic human decency if not at home? These values will, of course, be reinforced at church, but parental teaching is more constant. - Elder James E. Faust.

As part of our Heavenly Father’s plan, we were born into families. He established families to bring us happiness, to help us learn correct principles in a loving atmosphere, and to prepare us for eternal life.

Parents have the vital responsibility to help their children prepare to return to Heavenly Father. Parents fulfill this responsibility by teaching their children to follow Jesus Christ and live His gospel.

Parents have a divinely appointed responsibility “to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live” (“The Family: A Proclamation to the World”; see also Mosiah 4:14–15).

A home with loving and loyal parents is the setting in which the spiritual and physical needs of children are most effectively met. A Christ-centered home offers adults and children a place of defense against sin, refuge from the world, healing from emotional and other pain, and committed, genuine love.

Why I Homeschool: To Be Able to Fully Serve

Disclaimer:  This series of posts is written to tell my story of why I decided to homeschool and what I have learned a long the way. These are my personal feelings and direction the Lord has given to me and my family. That does not mean they are your answers.  I don't want you to feel guilty at all nor that I'm telling you this is the only way. I write it because people have asked for honest answers to why I chose to do this, and I want to be able to be completely open and honest back with them.

As I look back over the last year and a half at the different feelings and decisions we came to, I don't know that there was one singular event that determined the moment we decided to homeschool.  It was a myriad of promptings, thoughts, research, feelings and inspiration that directed us to this decision.  It reminds me of Elder Bednar's description in a series of movies "Patterns of Light" about how we receive revelation. Ours resembled the slow rising of the sun, that eventually made things brighter and more clearer. Some insight we didn't even gain until we took that leap of faith and actually started homeschooling. There were small answers, directions and things that eventually led to our final decision to pull our kids out of the public schools and take on the responsibility ourselves.

It had been something I had considered for over a year before Beau got his answer as well and we made our final decision. So what were some of those things that were catalysts? What are the things that prompted that decision. I hope to share them with you in these series of Why I Homeschool. The reasons are not in any specific order. They were all percolating at the same time. I will just be writing them in the order that they come out.

About 2-3 years ago, I went through a couple of miscarriages, that emotionally took quite a toll on me.  I started to appreciate my family more, the children I had been blessed with, and I started seeing the stress, daily activities and demands that were taking a toll on my family as we were trying to do so much with church callings, school (both Beau's schooling and the children's), our work - both Beau's and mine, and just family life and demands. At the time I was emotional and physically spent from the miscarriages.  I was at one point juggling the callings of Ward Young Women's secretary and the teacher for the weekly Strengthening Marriages course for the stake,  my husband had been serving as the Stake Young Men's President during a very busy summer of youth activities and had just barely gotten called as the Ward High Priest Group Leader.  Between our two callings it seemed that we were gone many nights of the week and I was on burn out.

While serving in Young Womens we did not have any leaders who were able to attend Girls camp and because I recently had my miscarriage, I was no longer pregnant and was now eligible to go.  I did not want to. I still was emotionally and physcially recovering from my miscarriage, and all I wanted was time with family, of which there seemed to be very little. Beau had missed lots of work time, and had been unable to get much research done, I felt like he had sacrificed too much time for me to take another whole week off for girls camp while he watched the kids.  I was torn. I knew I needed to serve, I knew I should say yes, and yet I couldn't. I knew it would be too much.  I went to BYU Women's Week burned out and in need of answers. I felt guilty saying yes to my family and no to church service, and I wasn't sure what to do. The Lord gave me answers through Sister Beck, he gave me permission to focus on my family. I was finally at peace. At that point in our life, that is what we needed.  Our family needed each other and time for each other, there are times to serve and there are times when we need to say yes to our family instead.  I told them I couldn't go. I just couldn't do anymore.

Over the next few months I felt like I could focus on my family, I started healing physically and emotionally.  Ironically the morning the girls left for camp, one of the leaders backed out and I had 20 minutes to get ready to head to camp, the Lord told me I needed to go. There was no one else, and there were no other options. I was emotionally able to just pick up and leave knowing Beau would take care of everything at home, and in turn the Lord blessed me with an amazing spiritual and emotional healing week. I had started becoming frustrated and sometimes almost bitter about the amount of service the church was putting on family, specifically those in leadership callings that were doubled up.  Our family was suffering, and I was frustrated with the family being the most important structure in the church, and yet the church taking us away so much from our family that it had began to suffer and didn't seem to be that important to the many church demands.  The Lord took me to camp where he softened my heart, showed me things I needed to see about some of the policies our local leaders had set up that seemed so unrealistic and demanding on families. He reminded me of what Beau and I have always wanted to do and covenanted to do and that was to serve the Lord with all our hearts in any way we were called.  I was reminded of the hymn sitting quietly on top of a mountain that has personally resonated with me most of my life.


I'll Go Where You Want Me To Go

It may not be on the mountain height
Or over the stormy sea,
It may not be at the battle's front
My Lord will have need of me.
But if, by a still, small voice he calls
To paths that I do not know,
I'll answer, dear Lord with my hand in thine,
I'll go where you want me to go.


I have gone in directions during my life that were not my plan but the Lord's, directions he's needed me to take.  My ultimate desire was to serve where ever he would have me go. In fact this last weekend a couple sang a beautiful rendition of this song at our Stake conference that once again tugged at my heart, reminded me of the sincere desire to serve where he needed me, and confirmed at that time that homeschooling was a road and a path that he needed me to go, even though it was not the norm.

The last day of girls camp as I was preparing to go back home to our busy, hectic life, the Bishop made a comment to me that I don't write here to brag about it, but because of what it reminded me of. The moment he said it, he reminded me of what Beau and I have always tried and attempted to do. He told me something along the lines, "I honestly wish there were more families like the Tippetts. Families that lived on a partial income, that aren't full time and busy in the world, that are willing and CAN serve any time they are called upon to do so. They can drop things at any moment to go and serve, and most people are unable to do that even if they wanted to.  They have nothing holding or binding them down so they can do it. They can leave at a moments notice if asked, or called upon to do it." When he said that it hit strongly that this is the way we had just sort of set up our life. We both had created very flexible schedules in work and school so that we could drop or serve at last minute. We have wanted to be able to do that. Our goals for the future is to find employment opportunities and other ways and means to continue to make that possible. Hopefully, the business Beau is starting will provide for our needs in that way before too long, at the same time acknowledging that it takes time to build a profitable business, and we will have to work up to being able afford to go whenever we are needed.

A couple of months after returning home I was called to serve in the Stake Relief Society. I knew life was not going to get any less busy or hectic between both of our leadership callings. I could not realistically ask to not serve, and had come to grips that there will probably never be a down time between Beau or I when we will have small, quiet, simple callings. (Oh to someday be the primary pianist. That would be such a happy day.) In reality I knew we were still going to have much asked of us, gone most evenings, and we needed to come to terms with that. In the process, the kids started school. I started seeing how by the time my children got home from school, we did homework, ate dinner it was time for one of us or both of us to run off to church meetings and responsibilities.  I started to see that we had no time for our children, and our children were starting to complain and cry for us not to go every time we told them we had to go.

I did not want my children to grow up hating church service because it took their parents away all the time. They are young. They needed us and our time. Especially in this uncertain world. They needed one on one time with us. They needed the stability of us being here, and yet they were getting very little of it. We would try to explain where we were going, why were serving, but that didn't always help.

As we started contemplating homeschooling, this was one of the huge benefits that I felt was there. It was an answer that would solve both problems. The lack of family time that our children needed, and the ability to serve in any capacity needed. I would be able to spend good quality and adequate time with my children all day that I didn't feel guilty leaving them to serve in my calling or other responsibilities we might have with work, civic or church.  I knew that it would open up our schedule freeing us from being on someone else's schedule and demands. If we needed to leave town at a moments notice, we could. If there was a family emergency we could go. If we needed to help or serve someone or somewhere we could. (Now if only we could convince family and other's that we really aren't that busy and they can ask for help. :))

Ironically it would seem that with our busy and stressful life, that adding homeschool to it would make it even more busy and crazy. And there are days that are like that, trust me!  But the majority of the time it has made our life much simpler. It works with family life.  It ebbs and flows and we can schedule things in a way that works with our family instead of against it. It has made things more relaxed in our home. We aren't as stressed when we have a busy streak of callings and meetings. We can meet our family needs when they need to be addressed during the days, rather than just waiting for the craziness to let up so we can then meet our children's specific needs or a general family need.  It has been freeing really.  It has just been one more piece to our family's goal of being able to serve whenever and whereever we are needed, and has now made it possible to serve together as a family.

I am hoping that I can show and give my children more opportunities to serve those in our ward, community and extended family. I hope that others will not see the Tippetts as too busy to ask for help because I homeschool all day. (I'll give you a hint, we're usually done by 1-2 and have all afternoon to pursue other things. We also can do work in the car while we travel. We also can do school somewhere other than our home if needed. My kids can bring work along and do it while I help someone. We can make up the work on Saturday if we are needed on a day during the week. That is the beauty of homeschooling! It really can make us available to help.) I hope they feel like we are an option. There have been a few times already this year when there was a need to serve and help for meals after a funeral.  I could take my children, we could stay as long as they needed us to and they were able to help serve too and be a part of the Lord's work.

Homeschooling has really helped a ton in the dilemma of church service and family. Of meeting both demands and needs. It has helped me not feel guilty about serving, because I already had the chance to serve my kids regularly every day.  I am also hoping that in the future, it will keep our lives open so that we may be ready to serve whenever and wherever the Lord calls us.

This Week

Lately I have felt the need to take more time to write here on my blog and in my journal. Somehow at the end of busy and crazy days, weeks and months it slipped by again and didn't happen. I have not made the time to sit down and write about the happenings in my personal and family life, and it has bothered me. 

For one I used to be an avid journal writer and have volumes of journals from my high school and college years. I have a few for when we were first married, and then they tend to slowly get less and less. 10 years later in our marriage, I wonder what I have written to show for it. Luckily I do have some blog posts, random books and journals that I've recorded a few things in, but I feel there needs to be more. A lot more.




Today I read some of these quotes that once again reminded me why I've felt the spirit to be pushing me to write more again.

"Those who keep a personal journal are more likely to keep the Lord in remembrance in their daily lives."
- Spencer W. Kimball

"I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day nomatter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done." - Henry B. Eyring

Maybe these promptings have to do with our History lessons this last week. Our look at what History really is. His Story. The story of God's dealing with his children, the fall and rise of nations and people as they either remembered him or forgot him. Maybe it has to do with the timeline we made that shows my family's place in the great eternal timeline of this earth's life. Our place in these latter days, in preparing ourselves, our families and our posterity for the Second Coming of the Savior Jesus Christ. Seeing our place in His Story, his timeline. Knowing we had a specific time and place to come and am I recording what we are experiencing now in this very unique, amazing and difficult time in the history of the world.



I tend to see the Lord more in my life when I do write. I see how he answers my prayers. I see how he has guided things in the long run over my life or long periods of time. I become more grateful. It also helps me formulate my thoughts when I have many on my mind. I also know that my children love reading about themselves, the happenings in our lives, and flipping through scrapbooks and photo albums remembering the times that we spent as a family. I love to look back and see how I've grown, how far I've come, and sometimes wonder why I'm still trying to learn the same lesson for the 5th or 20th time.



One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

It has also reminded me of the book One Thousand Gifts. What a beautiful story Ann writes about how simply writing down her blessings every day completely changed her, and what it can do for us. I love this book. Taking the time to remember lessons we've learned, blessings we have, things we took joy in during the day, the struggles we go through can benefit us so much. But to actually take the time to write them down can change me, my posterity and possibly others. When it's written down, it's there to come back to. It's there in a time of need. It's there to refresh our memories, relive those tender mercies and have something to share and pass on.

I want to do so much better at this. I'm not that great at it lately. I really don't know how I'm going to change the habit either, but I really want to try. I want to make it consistent again. These two pages of a week in our life, is my start for this week. Sometimes I want the visual. Plus I really want to finish the goal I have for myself, of having this last year documented and printed at the start of 2013. In order to do that I need to get caught up on a few weeks, and get back in the habit of recording the upcoming ones.

Our life these last few weeks have been mixed with blessings, stress, busyness, good friends, exhaustion, sickness, learning opportunities, and moments of peace and joy. I'm not promising that I'll suddenly do better at writing about all of it, but I sure hope so.