Merry Christmas

           Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas and chance to reflect on it's real meaning!
The Greatest Gift
           For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
           I have stood in awe at various times in my life as I held a newborn infant in my arms. Awe that my Father in Heaven love me enough that he gave up his only begotten son.
           How grateful I am for this gift in my life. For my Father in Heaven who gave up his son and my Savior who gave up his life so that I might live. The chance to live fully in this life through the effects of his atonement and the opportunity to live fully in the life to come.
           I am grateful for the Savior's perfect love and compassion which I have felt numerous times. At times when I haven't felt good enough, I have heard the quiet voice reminding me I am. I am good enough that he gave his life for me. I have felt his love with the many blessings I enjoy on a daily basis. They are little reminders that God loves and watches over me. I have felt the peace that comes from his forgiveness of my sins. He has given me hope and peace when times are hard.
           I feel his quiet push to be better. To try harder, to love more deeply, to serve more often, to worship more sincerely, to be more humble and to partake of the atonement more fully.
           Most importantly, I feel his gentle push to know more deeply his love for me personally... The imperfect me. Me...Shalae.

Finally a White Christmas!

           What's better than sitting there in the dark, with only the glow of the front room windows and Christmas lights shining on your kid's delighted, happy, smiling faces. Watching them as they are pulled, whipped and dragged around on the homemade sled. There is nothing like hearing their laughter and requests for "more!" and "faster" while dad is laughing as he whips them around in cookies. Really, isn't life really about the moments like this?

Small promptings

           A few weeks ago I was doing homework with Savannah. The assignment was to get a variety of colored beans and create a pattern with them. Of course once Isaac saw the beans he immediately grabbed the bag to dump them all over the floor and begin playing in them. At one point Mirian joined in and also came up later to ask for help in getting the bean she had stuck up her nose out. What?! Why do kids do this? I thought it was a little far fetched when the little boy on "One Fine Day" kept sticking things up his nose until I had children.
           We finished up, cleaned up the bean mess and later went to bed. Isaac had one rough night. He woke up a couple of times saying "Owie, Owie and crying." We thought maybe he had a sore throat since we've all had colds. Beau tried to help him wipe his nose and he wouldn't even let dad touch it, saying "Owie!"
           As Beau was putting him down for the second time, and after he mentioned that his nose must be raw, somewhere between drifting back to sleep and being awake I had the thought. "Maybe he stuck a bean up his nose as well like Mirian." I had no idea why I even thought of that. It had no relation to what I had been thinking, or dreaming about before I had awoken, it was just a thought that had come into my head. Maybe we should check his nose. But by then he had once again fallen asleep and we didn't want to wake him, so I ignored it and fell back asleep.
           The next morning he woke up and came and sat down on dad's lap and had a big sneeze, only to force a bean almost out of his nose. He did have one in there! It hadn't come out all the way so Beau had to push it out by running his finger along the outside of his nose, but he did have a bean. All night it had been in there hurting, and we had no idea, except for that small prompting that I honestly believe was from the Lord.
           Why is it so hard to follow those small promptings of the spirit sometimes. Especially when they are nothing big, nothing life changing, nothing obvious. Just enlightenment to our minds, small thoughts to help our life go smoother. This was nothing major wrong, Isaac wasn't in a life or death situation. But the Lord knew that we had no clue why he was waking up. We would have never known there was a bean in his nose. But if I had acted on that small simple prompting he could have been relieved of the pain and had a good night sleep. I know God is aware of even the little tiny aspects of our lives and is there to help if we just let him. We just have be sure to listen, but not only hear that small prompting but to act on it as well. It never does any good unless we act.

Lite and heavy thoughts

           (Be prepared this is a heavy one.)
           A few weeks ago I had the chance to get out and walk around town and take photos of some old buildings for a project. It's amazing the things you don't notice, until you go out looking for them

           I have not given up on my blessing posts. I have 4 more planned that I wanted to do. Life somehow got in the way. The inlaws showed up in town. I had a big project hanging over my head. All my kids got sick, and well... life happened. I'll still finish posting them here and there because they are things that I'm incredibly grateful for!           Somehow my kids have gotten sick with something that resembles pink eye but I'm not sure what it is exactly. It starts by their eyes getting red, swelling, then the white parts getting all blood shot, and goopiness. No other signs, till the next day when they get high fevers for a couple of days with no others signs. A day or so later, they have a cough. They are now over the fevers and the eye problems, but still have the cough, with runny noses and head colds. They got it one at a time, had it for 3 days before passing it onto the next kid. Weeks later we are still dealing with it.           It's times like this that you really need to have self discipline. After weeks of whining, grouchiness and clingyness I am finding myself short tempered, no patience, and whining myself. I am in such a need of a break and I am so ready for everyone to be better. It's hard because I know they don't feel well, and they are acting grouchy because mommy is too.

Lately I've had the word 'consecration' on my mind a lot. It all started with reading the scripture weeks ago. (2 Nephi 32:9) Then I read an amazing talk on it. That talk has had me thinking all week about if I'm really consecrating all that I have to the Lord. Do I have other things that are taking up more time and devotion than him, making me not really keeping the the 1st commandment. Am I really giving ALL of me and not just part. My time, my talents, my thoughts, desires, hopes.
           I tend to think I'm not. I tend to think that I like my time too much to keep for myself. I'm beginning to think that I spend too much time on things that "don't matter" in the long haul and are really just keeping me from doing what he needs me to do.
           I'm realizing that when I get up in the morning my thoughts are "What am I going to do today, what is on my agenda, what am I going to do with my time." When in reality, it's not my time, it's not my day. It should be his. He has specific things he needs me to do, that he wants me to do, and I'm not even giving him a chance to let me know what it is.
           I'm beginning to realize how different I would spend my time and energy if I woke up and said a hearfelt prayer asking him "what he needs me to do today." And then really go out and do it. Am I really dedicated to him, his gospel. Am I giving him my all.           A while ago I was studying the Old Testament and was fascinated by the word "Handmaiden." Specifically when it mentioned "a handmaid of the Lord." Mary describes herself as this to Gabrielle when he comes to announce that she is carrying and will deliver the Christ Child. What does it mean?
           A handmaid in those days was a servant of the women. Specifically we hear of Rachel and Leah's handmaids, who they offered up to bear children when they were found barren. They could not bear children and wanted a posterity. In those days everything the handmaid was, had or did was literally her masters. It was not hers. Nothing was hers. Nothing. That was why when Rachel gave her handmaid over to bear her children since she couldn't it was as if her handmaid was literally bearing her children, since nothing was the handmaids. It would literally become and be seen as Rachel's child.
           I find it interesting then that Mary declares herself a handmaid of the Lord. Here she is showing her upmost submission to the God of Heaven, is saying that everything that she is or would do would be His. She was His, to do as He would like. Complete submission willingly. This term "hand maid of the Lord" is not used very much, only sparingly throughout the scriptures. But Hannah also declares herself one. She gave her all too. She gave up her only child to the Lord to work in the temple. In modern scripture in D&C for those that belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints the Lord calls Emma his handmaiden. We know all that she gave up.
           The other most interesting one that is mentioned is in the prophesy in Acts 2:18,of the last days before the second coming when he declares "And on my servants and on my handmaidens I will pour out in those days of my Spirit; and they shall prophesy:"
           We are in those last days and he declares that there will be handmaidens. Women of the world who will be good, who will submit their wills, their time, their energy to him and his work. And He shall pour His spirit out among them.
           So lately my question would be if I am committed enough, have I submitted my will completely that the Lord could call me HIS handmaiden, or am I still too caught up in the world, too caught up in myself, to busy for others, to busy to do His work, or to busy to listen to what He really needs me to do. Am I give my all or am I holding back a part?

Happenings

           I'm supposed to be working on layouts for a product. Instead I'd rather get updated on this thing.
           She's growing like mad, and has figured out how to get up on all fours - trying to move herself. She can scoot and roll herself all over the room, but is trying desperately to figure out how to move those back legs!
           Isn't she just too cute with those glasses on.
           My kids crack me up! Yes we painted our walls bright green I love it. You can't tell much from this picture, and yes the couches DO NOT match. We are working on that. We've got to find slipcovers or see how good of a seamstress I am! The green wall is so fun with Christmas decorations right now. I'll get pictures up once I actually finish painting all the trim white!
           My little boy turned 2 yesterday! He was so excited about getting in the bathtub with the little people boat he could have cared less about blowing out candles and eating cake. (Ironic since 5 minutes earlier he was throwing a tantrum because I wouldn't let him have any! :)
           Where did the time go? I just ran across some pictures from the Christmas year he was born and my kid seemed so little then. Life is flying by way too fast for my liking!