Life Lessons

I have a child that very much likes to be in control. He likes things done his way, the exact way he wants them, and if you don't do it his way the world ends right then. The problem is most of the time he forgets to tell you all his particulars until the world has already ended, and then he will proceed to tell you everything you did not do right. And when he gets upset he tends to just tell you louder and louder until he's yelling at you.

Tonight was one of those lucky nights. It was my husband's lucky night to take the rounds. After 20 minutes of debating which is what he likes to do, it was time to just step in, be a parent, and teach hard lessons. This is so hard to determine sometimes. When do realize that the kids has just had a hard day and needs some love, compassion and attention. And when do you realize that there is a deeper issue that needs to resolved, and lessons that need to be learned. Lessons like:

1) You treat people with respect. All people. It doesn't matter who they are, and you need to learn to communicate properly with them and learn to express yourself in appropriate ways.

2) You can't control others and make everyone do exactly what you want,whenever you want. You can not have everything your way.

3) You are an agent unto yourself. You do have control over yourself and how you will act, respond and what choices you will make.

4) ALL of your choices have some sort of outcome. Whether that is good or bad can not always be determined by you. Sometimes you may know what those outcomes will be though and you can either choose the option that will prevent an outcome or you must be willing to take responsibility for any choice you make.

5) You can not expect to procrastinate the day of your repentance, and wait till the end to say your sorry, to apologize and expect everything to change and revert back to the way you want it to be. There will a point where it will be too late, and you will have missed opportunities. Nothing you can do can change it. But you can choose to accept responsiblity for what you have done or the choices you've made and move forward.

How do you teach these eternal truths to a 4 year old. You become the meanest parent on the block and take them to bed kicking an screaming. You stand up for your spouse and inform them that you will not put them to bed beacause they want you to do it instead of dad. (I was technically still the nice parent until that point) . You inform them that their behaviour has caused them to miss out on songs and a drink, because that was a consequence of their action. And then you don't give in depite all the crying, arguing, promises to change and be good if we do what he wants, and you let him know that you were listening to everything he said, and repeat it back to him to prove you were listening. And you show a little love still by at least giving him his teddy bear and doggy to help him fall asleep.

When does this parenting stuff get easier?