Technology. A Blessing from God.

Recently our church made changes to it's main website. I love it. I love how easy they have made it to share the gospel, share our beliefs and have so many wonderful resources at our fingertips to help us live the gospel and teach it to our families.

I especially love this page which shares our beliefs. It's so well done. Videos, pictures, members sharing their personal experiences and thoughts, options to ask questions and chat with someone. It is done in such a non threatening wonderful way. It let's anyone get answers to their questions, find out the correct things that we believe, and learn for themselves about our faith.

My cousin has been serving his two year mission in the MTC referral mission. He has had amazing wonderful experiences about how people are searching for answers and finding the gospel online. They are able to chat with missionaries like my cousin and get specific questions answers. He has had baptisms all over the world. What an incredible blessing technology is! The Lord knew the power and blessing that it would bring, and how much it would be needed to take the gospel to all the earth. My cousin returned home last Friday and I loved being able hear about the experiences he has had using technology to spread the gospel.

Recently I've been thinking a lot about my faith. Wondering why it is that I don't feel suppressed or limited in who I can or want to become, when we have so many commandments from the Lord, or doctrines like the Word of Wisdom or the Law of Chastity. Many people of the world feel that Mormons have no freedom. No freedom to do or be what they want.

In fact my first year of college my family took in a foreign exchange student from Norway, Silje. She was a long lost sister. We loved her. She had previously been assigned to another family somewhere else in the US. They decided they just couldn't do it and so we were asked if we would take her. We agreed.

The people and friends she was around before coming to our house, told her that it would be awful. That she wouldn't be able to do anything because of all our Mormon commandments. She came completely worried. She later told me that she came expecting to have no freedom to do as she wished, instead she found more freedom than she had ever felt before in her life. She was expected to live the same way the rest of us did in the family and abide by the same rules. But what she found was not the lack of freedom but an abundance of it. A freedom that comes when we live the commandments God has given us. A freedom we can find no where else.

Many of you may get sick of me talking about my faith. But in reality it is everything to me. It makes me so incredibly happy. It gives me incredible freedom to become a Shalae that is far better than anything I could have ever made her to be. I know it's true with every part of me. And when you know something like this to be true without any doubt, it is impossible to never share it.

At this Christmas season, one of the greatest gifts I could ever give to you dear friends, would be the FULLNESS of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know that Christ's original church he set up on the earth during his mortal ministry has been restored. Through Him. Every aspect of it. People wonder, ask and are sometimes appalled that we declare that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is Christ's only true and living church on the earth. That it is the same as the one he set up during his mortal ministry.

Does this mean that everyone else is wrong? No. Not at all. They all have truths, they have his word in the bible. But is there anything that is missing? Anything that has gotten lost in the many divisions of religion? Living Prophets? Modern Revelation? Priesthood power and authority to act in the name of God? Saving Ordinances? The Gift of the Holy Ghost? Is there more? Yes there is.

At this Christmas season. The time of giving gifts to those we love, I often contemplate and think of how my heart desires to share what I know to be true with others. The greatest of all gifts I could give is the restored gospel. The hard part... it has to be taken, looked at, thought about, prayed about, and acted upon by those I'd like to give it to. There has a to be a desire to even want to have the gift. There are not so many that are willing to to take it. Until that time comes, all I can do is keep sharing, keep testifying and keep offering.

I hope you are all enjoying this wonderful Christmas season. I hope you have had some time to ponder the Christ child. Who He is. Why He came. And what it means to you and me. I know he lives. I know he'll return one day, and what a glorious, happy day it will be.

Merry Christmas to you and your families! May this upcoming year be an amazing one for each of you.

Too Hard on Ourselves

I am the type of person that tends to lean more on the side of justice than mercy. This is not always a good quality trait to have. Especially when it comes to myself. Sometimes I hang justice over my head and tell myself that I'm just not doing good enough, I'm falling short in everything, and completely letting the Lord down and everyone around. I am human, I have weakness, bad habits and things that hold me back in very large ways.

I also know that I have a real and strong desire to do what is right. I really want to be more faithful, be more diligent in my study of the scriptures and the gospel. I really want to have a closer relationship with God and feel his spirit strong in my life all of the time. I want to do what is right, because when I do I experience a happiness I can't find anywhere else.

The problem comes when life happens. I get off track and it becomes a while since I've had a decent scripture study at all, or even opened the scripture for that matter. Or it might have been a while since I have been able to be less concerned with myself and my problems, and selfishly serving and helping someone else. Inwardly I know I should be doing things better, and so I bring out the justice card, and play it.

I start to be really hard on myself... leaving no room for forgiveness, understanding or mercy. I start comparing myself with others, and the perfect person I know I should be. The problem comes, when we don't let any small crack or door open for mercy to enter in. Compassion and understanding with ourselves. Forgiveness, hope and acknowledgement for how far we have come. We tend to close the Lord off completely because we just haven't been good enough, or worthy enough to feel his love, or have a spiritual experience, or let him reach out and put his arm around us and say, hey it's ok. You are trying, and you have good desires.

Reading a friends blog today reminded me of this and I think many women struggle with this in their lives. While thinking about it I was brought back to an experience that I had over a year ago when I was struggling with those moments of discouragement about where we are and where we want to be. I thought I'd share excerpts of my journal entry I wrote then.

"I haven't been keeping up on my scripture study, and I feel like the heavens have been closed of my own making. I feel like I've been trying to do it all on my own and have not been succeeding. I have been failing in every way. Tonight I was just feeling tired and hopeless. Stressed out and wondering how I'm supposed to do it all.

What am I supposed to do?

I felt the need of help from heaven, communication again, inspiration and direction and felt lacking it. I picked up some scriptures off the floor. Flipped it open and found myself in Doctrine and Covenants. I saw section 6 and thought "read this chapter."

It's been a chapter that I have come to love, and have had it give direction many times before, but tonight the message from the Lord was different. Tonight as I read it I felt a loving father and son saying... It's ok. We know your thoughts and desires. We know your tired. We know your stressed. We know your overwhelmed and want to do so much and can't. We love you. The heavens are not closed, and you know that or you wouldn't have opened your scriptures...

It was so what I needed, along with a long heartfelt prayer afterwards.

I wanted to share a few verses though that stuck out, that sunk in my heart and made me realize my father in heaven is fully aware, and he is there wanting to help. He doesn't think less of me, he's not disappointed in me, he wants me to know he understands.

"Seek to bring forth and establish the cause of Zion; Seek not for riches but for wisdom, and behold the mysteries of God shall be unfolded to you, and then shall ye be made rich."

Lately with the stress of finances, and the recession, I have been stressed and feeling a pressure to design to make some money so we can survive. This one just spoke peace to my heart saying... "Don't seek the money... don't worry about the money... worry about the things that really matter, that's all that matters anyway. I'll take care of you. I always have."

"Verily, Verily, I say unto thee blessed art thou for what thou has done; for thou has inquired of me, and behold, as often as thou hast inquired thou has hast received instruction of my Spirit.

If it had not been so, thou wouldst not have come to the place where thou art at this time. Behold thou knowest that thou has inquired of me and I did enlighten thy mind; and now I tell thee these things that thou mayest know that thou hast been enlightened by the Spirit of truth; Yeah, I tell thee, that thou mayest know that there is none else save God that knowest thy thoughts and the intents of they heart."

This one spoke peace to my soul in telling me that the heavens are not closed. I did what I should - turn to him, and they were opened, they always will be opened. He knows what I'm thinking and going through ... I need to go to him, and when I do I'll recieve instruction. This one gave me peace that to know that even though I have been terrible lately about studying the scriptures, prayers, and having the right attitude and desire to serve, I could still go to him, he will still answer me, and he understands. He wasn't holding it against me, and holding back a spiritual experience or feeling his presence just to teach me a lesson.

"Therefore be diligent; stand by my servant (Beau), faithfully, in whatsoever difficult circumstances he may be for the word's sake. Admonish him in his faults, and also receive admonition of him. Be patient; be sober; be temperate; have patience, faith, hope and charity."

Here I heard the council once again to stand behind Beau and support him in ALL things. In whatever aspect the Lord calls him. Be there for him. Counsel with him.

"Behold I do not condemn you; go your way and sin no more; perform with soberness the work which I have commanded you. Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not."

This one was one where I just felt overwhelmed with his love. He did not condem me for not going to him lately, for doing it on my own, for abandoning the scriptures, and having trite prayers. He loves me, he's saying it's ok. Do better and move forward. I love you. Trust me.

You never know when you'll have an overwhelming experience like this one. One where tears freely flow. One where you just feel the the love of the Lord, his mercy, his forgiveness, his desire for you to do better, his understanding. What an incredible blessing to have. What a wonderful incredible blessing to have that in this life. To know it and feel it. God loves me. Despite all my weaknesses. He knows my thoughts, he knows my heart, he knows my struggles. He cares. He is there. He completely understands. He wants to help. I need to trust and let him."

We need to stop always beating ourselves us up. We need to remember that we are doing better that we think we are.... but we can always do better. But during the process he is always going to be there, he will help us, he will console us, he will just let us talk, cry, and share our thoughts, he'll put his arm around us and he'll say.... "I know" because he really does know.

Small and Simple Things

I always seem to have a list of a hundred things to do, and a desire to do them all. I get started on one project, and it either never gets finished, or it is the only thing I spend my time on and nothing else gets done.

My friend Kimmy and I were talking about how we take this big things we want to do, and big projects that need working on and it is just overwhelming and it seems like we get no where. But when we take things and do them in smaller chunks over time, it's amazing how all the little things start adding up.

This scripture

"But behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6

Though thy beginning was small, yet thy latter end should greatly increase." Job 8:7

Why Not?

As a mother I too quickly squash my children's ideas because I think they'll be a hassle or create even more work for me. Or sometimes it just seems so insensible at the time.

I don't believe this is a good thing for me to be doing. How are they going to develop this creativity if I'm always saying no. How are they going to learn to think outside of the box if I say no? How are they going to enjoy the little things and experience life's joys if I'm always saying no?

The other night was no exception. We had two or three cardboard boxes in our front room from some current purchases. The kids were cutting them up making cars, doggie houses, and any other random item that they needed right then for their play world. In the process of making doggies houses, they created one for Isaac, the doggy. It was only about 2 feet by 2 feet. The one side was completely open, the opposite side had a large hole cut out. When laying on the ground he could stick his head in the box and out the hole. If he curled up tight enough, most of his body could fit inside the box too.

It soon became time for bed. Groaning from the ranks ensued and Issac immediately asked "Can I sleep in my box?!" I immediately opened my mouth, to say "no way, you can play in it tomorrow," when Beau exclaimed "Sure buddy!" I gave him a look, questioning his own sanity when he smiled, said "look" and nodded towards Isaac. The little boy was grinning from ear to ear, so excited. He grabbed his box and dad helped him put it in his room on the floor, helped him get his head inside and out the other end so it could lay on his pillow and tucked him in.

He stayed in bed, didn't put up his usual fight, and fell asleep. I didn't think another thing of it. The next morning he rolled into the kitchen rubbing his eyes and Beau asked, "How did you sleep buddy!" He smiled and said good. I then remembered. "Did you sleep in that box ALL night?" I asked incredulous.

"Yep!" was the reply accompanied with the largest, proudest grin a little boy could carry.

Really what did it hurt? He had the time of his life. He did something out of the normal. He pretended all night, and he was proud of himself. I say no to too many things, when there really is no good valid reason why not to do it. Why not them really be kids. Maybe they'll show me how to enjoy those small things life are made of.

I want it to be real.

It's been a year of struggles.

Internal struggles. Hurts and disappointments. Growth. Heartaches. Real gratitude. A year of learning... lots of learning.

I think I am doing good and getting things figured out, and then I fail. I fall into a miserable heap. I realize I'm human. I'm not perfect. In fact I'm a hypocrite. I wonder if I present myself to people and make them think that I am super woman, that I can do it all, that I have it all together. Instead I want to say...

Hey you get upset at your kids? Me too!

You're house is a disaster. Phew I'm glad I'm not alone.

Oh you got sucked into the computer and emerged later only to find your day wasted. I know that feeling!

It's been days since you've opened your scriptures? Even longer since you've felt like you've had a real spiritual experience? I'm missing it too.

and it could go on....

Maybe that's why I just haven't been able to blog.... I felt like a hypocrite in everything I wrote. Maybe I wanted to write what I was really struggling with. Maybe that would require I open up and show you my heart and that was way tooo risky...

Maybe I wanted this to be more than just a daily post about what I or my family has done.

Maybe I wanted something more for my grandchildren and kids. I wanted them to know how I felt as I lived life. I wanted them to know that I hurt, that I feared, that I loved, that I laughed, that I cried.... that I had a heart.

Maybe I wanted it to be real. Really real.

That's what I want now. I know I've mentioned before other hopes for this blog. But deciding that I couldn't blog.... I had nothing to write, nothing to say, it all seemed empty. What I really want to show you is Shalae. Me living the life God gave me.... the stories that make up the unique individual that I am. The unique experiences I will go through that teach me about God and his ways, and that make me who I am. I want to start telling you a story about my heart.

The post The Unknown was my start of trying to do this. Showing you my heart and acknowledging God's hand in all of it. What am I learning about and experiencing right now. I'm going to share my journey.

How do you express....

how grateful you are for:

• Moments catching my 2 yr old singing primary songs at the top of her voice.
• Mybest friend - Beau. Heavenly Father not only knew what I needed he gave me the absolute best.
• Hard trials that teach me life lessons, despite how many tears are shed through them.
• Nature and it's amazing power to soothe and heal.
• A visiting teaching companionship I was scared to death about, and turned into the greatest blessing of my life.

• My immediate family - parents and siblings, and how they love me despite all my faults.
• My extended family who reaches out and makes me feel part of their family.
• The many opportunities the Lord has given me to grow, learn, develop talents and skills, opportunities to learn leadership and to grow spiritually.
• Amazing people that are constantly coming and going in my life leaving their mark forever one my heart.
• A Savior who never gives up on me, and gives me opportunities to feel his mercy and love.
• The restored gospel. The plan of Salvation. Priesthood Power. The Atonement. Covenants. Promises of Eternal Families and Eternal Life. Prayer. Answers to prayers. Unanswered prayers. The Book of Mormon, Bible and other scriptures. A Living Prophet. The Relief Society.
• Those tiny every day moments that bring a smile to both my face and heart.

The Unknown

I don't think he realized what it would really be like.

No hot meals for 4 days.

A disaster everywhere he turned in the tiny one room apartment.

No place to sit.

No place to eat.

No clean laundry.

Tears.... lots of tears.

Favors. Requests.

Stress.

No time to study for his own exams.

We had only been married two months if that.

He said he wanted to support me in my art.

Now in the chaos is this what he really wanted?

Four months earlier, we sat in a car as friends talking. I ended up pouring out my heart's desire to create art. Not just any art. Art that pulled at your heartstrings, pulled at your memories, your fears, your desires. Art that led you to him who could wipe away all tears, bind up broken hearts and shattered dreams. Art that taught you who he was and how to let him succor you. Art that left you wanting more... of him.

I had felt those strong, incredible promptings and desires at certain points in my life. Three months prior to that quiet evening in the car, I had gotten a very distinct prompting to stop running from it and start acting in faith. I felt without any doubt in my mind I was supposed to stop teaching, and create art. It scared me to death one minute and made me breathless with excitement in the next. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't see how I could support myself while doing it if I had no job, yet I wanted to do it so very badly. I listened to fears and others. In the end I procrastinated. I told myself I would build up to it and quit next year. I gave into the fear and didn't act.

As we sat together in the car that evening. I shared with him these desires, this specific prompting and the struggle it brought with it. Then I shared what I truly felt in my heart.

"I'm afraid I made the wrong decision."

Still to this day I wonder the same.

"Did I make the wrong decision? Did I loose my chance?"

I wonder as he looked around him at the mess, at his wife who was so consumed in finishing up a piece of artwork that she had forgotten him, if this is what he really wanted. The only answer he gave me in the car that night was a listening ear, nods of understanding and a simple statement.

"You know what your answer is don't you? Get married and let your husband support you so you can do art."

What he didn't say out loud at the time was this:

"Let me be that person."

It's been over eight years. Eight years since he saw me spill rubbing alcohol all over the artwork that I had been consumed with for 4 days. Holding his breath knowing that I had just ruined 4 days of work, and that the deadline for the juried exhibit I was trying for was tomorrow. He watched for my reaction thinking how calm I was, only to realize it truly was as bad as he thought when he saw the tears start to roll down my face and the sobs start to come. All he could do was hold me and let me cry.

He had became that person.

He has watched me over and over the last eight years, try to figure out what to do with this burning desire in my heart. He's watched me be creative in other areas, as I hoped that it would satisfy this feeling in my heart, only to have it give temporary relief. He has watched me sit for days with my mind so consumed with reoccuring questions, thoughts and dreams. "Did I make the wrong decision?" "Where would I be now if I had done something differently?" "Should I be doing it now?" "Is it to late to ask the Lord forgiveness and see if I can begin again."

I just want to paint.

He has seen the Lord guiding me and teaching me a long the way. Blessing me. Providing opportunities. Sending people. Increasing my talents. And always calling after me.

A month ago... I heard that call again. Shalae have faith and do what your supposed to do.

I heard it again and again as we stood holding hands in front of 1, 2, 3 very large paintings of the Christ. I felt my heart leap into my throat, and the tears starting to well in my eyes. They were beautiful. They were what I wanted... I someday want to create something like this.

Maybe it isn't too late.

It's been eight years since I spilled the rubbing alcohol. Two more of these competitions have come and gone. I have only been the viewer of them. The ninth one is coming up. I'd have a year instead of 4 days. What would he think if I told him I was going to go for it. How will he respond?

He'll smile.

Because he is that person.

My Actual

Honestly.  I have had a lack of desire to blog, and yet feel a need to. I’m  not sure what to write or say.  Life has just been busy lately.  My mind has been with my sister and her husband who have been going through some serious health issues.  My heart has been touched by a blog post from Mandy that has had it reeling ever since.  It has sent me back to thoughts, desires, dreams and feelings I felt a long time ago that have been on the back burner. They have been all I can’t think about.  Maybe it is a good thing to have blogging droughts. It means I’m actually out living life and experiencing things such as:

• hikes
• autumn
• canning and feeling that satisfaction that comes from provident living
• laughing
• costume making
• more canning
• visiting family
• road trips
• bowling
• pancake breakfasts
• double dates
• peanut butter candy
• good books
• my husband’s new project
• rain
• even more canning
• did I say more canning?  Did I say it still isn’t finished.

Life is good. I love this time of year. I think it naturally makes me slow down and take pause for reflection. 

Brighten Someone’s Day

About a seven months ago we had a large meeting called a Stake Conference for our church. It is usually a two-hour meeting in which our local authorities speak to us. Since my husband is in a Stake Leadership position, he is required to sit on the stand with the other leadership, leaving me to keep four small, unruly children quiet and reverent.

This specific conference was held later in the day from 2:00-4:00 p.m., which are my children's worst hours of the day. They are always hungry, tired, and either cranky or wired. Well, that day they were wired. They were all over the place, and it was all they could do to sit there on the hard benches and behave for such a long period of time. We managed through the first half all right. It was a little rough, but hey, it was now halfway over. The second half was a little rougher. At this point, I was wondering if everyone around me was wondering why they came to the meeting because my children were keeping them from getting anything out of it. I had brought a few crackers for them to snack on, because I knew they were going to be starving, which would make it even worse. At one point, Isaac sneezed and spewed crackers all over the back of the guy in front of us. It was embarrassing.
We had about 30 minutes of the meeting left when I had to take Isaac and Caitlyn out into the foyer because Caitlyn (my 18-month-old) was squealing and laughing at everyone, and Isaac was throwing a tantrum. We sat out there for a while until Isaac told me he could be good. We made it back in, and then Mirian handed me this little yellow note which the lady behind us had given her while we were out.

(Note: Oh mother, you may have 4 busy children and only 2 hands to guide them. But it is obvious you have plenty of love in your heart and room on your lap for each one. Thank you for your example of righteous motherhood. Whether your husband is in leadership in the church, or something else keeps him from the family, carry on in love.)

It was all I could do not to break out in tears from frustration, but also gratitude that one lady understood the struggle and was not annoyed by it, but understood and loved enough to pass me an encouraging word. She'll never know how much that little note of encouragement brightened my day and made me realize that although they are kids and a handful, I'm blessed to be their mother. They will not always be at this young and crazy stage. It will be gone before I know it, and I need to love every minute of it.

Too often I think we get annoyed with people around us, frustrated that they are disturbing or bothering us. Instead, we need to look with the eyes that this woman had: Eyes of understanding and love. We can reach out to brighten someone's day, give an encouraging word of hope, and show some empathy. That's all we really need in this world anyway.

A “sweet” embroidery pattern for you.

One thing that I have wanted to do for a very long time is to create some embroidery patterns. There is something that I love about basic simple embroidery. It’s cheap and versatile in so many ways.  It can be a fast relaxing way to embellish or create something beautiful with simple floss.  There are also many stitches to learn and so I feel like I can constantly be learning and enhancing the skill as well. 

I finally decided to stop thinking about it and to just do it.  So I took my drawings from a couple of digital collections and switched them into downloadable PDF embroidery patterns.  I have 3-4 others in the works at the moment and hope to get them finished and up sometime soon as well.  I also thought I’d offer a small one for a free download. Try it out and see what you can come up with. It could make a cute embroidered dish towel, hot pad, wall hanging, etc.  I included two different sayings that could be used or just use the the cupcake.

The Sweet Shoppe Embroidery Pattern is a 5 page PDF which includes a cover, copyright info, original pattern, color suggestions and a reversed pattern.

I also have the Fly High Embroidery Pattern out as well. It is perfect for embellishing little boy’s pillows, clothing, quilts, etc.

A Thrifty First

My first pieced baby quilt.  I’ve done just regular square quilts when I was little with random fabric, but this is my first one since then. I worked on it a little bit at nights here and there when I had a chance.  Amazing what you can get done by doing small things at a time. I even quilted it on my own machine.  It’s not perfect, but I’m really happy with how it turned out.  The best part about it, that my husband agrees is that it’s made from old sheets.  They’re a lot cheaper than fabric, and I love the soft feel they already have because they’ve been used.

Beau’s Love

His mother’s granola.  Ever since I’ve married him, he is always asking for granola. So being the dutiful wife, I found out from the mother in law how to make it.  The first batch I cooked too much, it tasted slightly burnt.  The second batch was pretty good… and I think that’s been the only two times I’ve made it in my 8 years of marriage. The other time we had it, Beau made it. (He had probably given up on me by then.)  I know it’s at the top of his favorite list. I know if I make it for him that it makes me at the top of his favorite list, and yet I always roll my eyes when he asks for it, and groan about how much work it is.

Today I thought I’d make some to see that smile on his face, and say “Hey, I do love you” and in the process was wondering why I have been complaining about it.  It really isn’t that bad to make. It’s easy. It takes some time to cook 5 pans of it since we do it in bulk, but it really isn’t so bad. I think I complain about it because it’s soo good, but not that healthy. It’s like 9 weight watcher points per cup w/out milk. Wow. I’m sure I could come up with a ‘healthier’ version but why.  It’s so good how it is. It just needs to be eaten in moderation.

I think I’ll make it more often. Why not. Especially when I know how much my husband enjoys it, how much he asks for it, and knowing that it will make his day to have a bowl.  What is it that thing that your husband loves, that he might have even been asking for?  Have you done it lately? If not… go for it! There’s nothing like today to do a little something to say… “hey, I love you.” 
If you do decide to do that little something and are willing to share I’d love to hear what you did for him!  Go ahead and post it in the comments. :)
Also… in case your tempted to make some up yourself here is Beau’s favorite Granola recipe.

Grandma Tippetts’ Granola
14 c. old fashioned oatmeal (not instant)
1 pkg. sunflower seeds
1 pkg. slivered almonds
1 pkg. coconut
1 cup wheat germ
1 cup sugar
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup honey
1 cup oil

Mix all the dry ingredients in the first list together in a VERY large bowl. I use a large metal bowl that I let my bread rise in. (in the end it makes about 32 cups of granola.)
In a sauce pan mix the sugars, honey and oil and bring to a boil for 2 minutes.
Pour the liquid over the dry ingredients and mix thoroughly, trying to spread over as much of the granola as possible. Then in various batches spread out a layer on a large cookie sheet.  Bake in the oven for 15 minutes at 325.  Stir it up to help coat the granola halfway through the bake time, and after you pull it out while it’s still hot. Let it cool, break apart and store in air tight containers.  You can then add raisins, craisins or other dried fruit to it at this point or when you are going to eat it.

An Amazingly Creative Mother.

I ran across a link to Adele Enerson's blog Mila's Daydreams.  Adele imagines what her tiny baby is dreaming about while asleep and gets creative making it.  What a creative, fun way to enjoy motherhood. I mean really!!! These are just so awesome.  I love how it’s a creative outlet in a normal, everyday life of being a mother to a baby.

Screen Time

This last Sunday we had our regional conference and had the opportunity to hear Elder Snow, Elder Holland, Sister Beck, and Elder Packer. It was a great meeting. We also had an amazing Saturday night conference that Beau and I just loved.  Something that was said Sunday morning by Sister Beck in her talk hit me strong.  She basically gave this warning (in similar words): “I am very concerned about the distractions of young mothers.  I’m especially concerned about the amount of time they are spending in front of their computer.  The computer is simply a tool to be used to strengthen and help your family. It is no different than your dishwasher, your washing machine, or microwave. It is too easy to get caught up and let time slip by, finding that you have been on it for hours. Our children are too valuable to be left wanting.”

That statement left me evaluating and thinking about the amount of time I might be spending on the computer.  When I am on the computer and what kinds of things I’m distracted by while on it.  After hearing her statement I made a goal for myself to try and not get on the computer for work, emails, reading blogs, etc while my children are awake.  The only times I will allow it is if I have gotten everything else done, I’ve spent quality time with my children, and I am doing something productive like writing on my own blog, or doing things like budgeting etc.  And then I only allow it for a very limited time.  Last week I tried it.  I would get up early, read emails, blogs, make posts I needed to, or do my design work. Then I mostly stayed away from it all day. At night after the kids were in bed, then I felt like I was ok to get on the computer and do some design work, etc. 
What was the result?  An AMAZING week…. I was able to get so much done. The time that was spent on the computer was all SUPER productive. I accomplished so much in both my design work as well as in my home. I tried to focus on the essential things all week, and our home was happier, Beau and I had some great moments just being together, things went smoother with the kids. There was a LOT less whining.  My house stayed clean ALL week, and ALL weekend. I woke up this morning on a Monday to an already clean house.  My laundry was caught up all week. I got to sew, embroidery, read, play with my kids, etc.  I exercised all week working towards my 5K goal.  I attended church meetings I needed to, attended the temple, the kids primary activity and had family here for the weekend. I finished a quilt I had been working on, and life was SOOO good.
Now don’t get me wrong. Most of our days our good, our life is really good. I have a wonderful relationship with my husband and family. We have good quality time together. Life really is good for our family. But last week I saw what Sister Beck was talking about when she said that we have POWER when we have our priorities in order. When we put God and his work first, then our families and homes.  I had the power to do so much more, by putting my priorities straight.  I’m determined to do it again this week, and the week after. I know there will be times when I slip, that’s what life is about, and what all these daily life experiences are about. But I just want to testify of the truth of this principle…. When our priorities are right we will have POWER, when they are not in order and we are distracted we will slowly be picked off by the adversary and will loose so many greater and better things.

Haven’t I learned this lesson?

It seems that when I have one of those great ‘Aha’ moments, and I seem to be doing good and on the right track, that adversary seems to say ‘yeah right!”  Then begins his full fledge battle to prove to me I am full of words and no action sometimes.  This has been one of those weeks. One of those weeks that I have tried to escape to all the wrong things and places and it hasn’t worked. It has been a week or two of getting tired and frustrated with my children and myself.
It’s at times like this that I am so glad I blog. So glad that I have journals I have written about hard times like this before. So that I can re-read them all over again. Learn the lessons all over again, and wonder when I will finally get it right.  Today I was led back to the February 17, 2009 post Barren or Joyful, giving me the same answers, that I know all along, and yet can’t seem to implement as readily as I need to. 
It’s always the same battle. It’s always the same answers.

Priceless

Last night we were having family home evening. (An weekly evening dedicated to spending time as a family and teaching them the gospel.)  We always begin with an opening song (or two or three) and an opening prayer.  A lesson is given by dad, mom or one of the kids, and then we close with an activity, treats, and another song and prayer.

Caitlyn’s job is leading the music. At two she has picked up on how to swing her arm back and forth to conduct us, and we end up singing her favorite primary songs.  Last night we were closing our night by singing reverently the song “Families Can Be Together Forever.”  We were quietly singing when all the sudden Caitlyn yells out “FASTER!” (in her large 2 year old vocabulary and pronunciation)  and starts swinging her arm back and forth furiously. “FASTER!” she hollers again beating her arms as fast as she can make them go. We just busted a gut. I don’t know where she learned this. If she’s just picked up from the chorister at church that we sing to the rhythm of her arm moving, or if they play a game in Nursery where the song leader speeds them up and slows them down while they’re singing.  Lately she is just cracking us up with these things she pulls out from no where.

Crazy Flip and Floppy’s Fine Diner

This is the name that my husband came up with last night as we tried to figure out something fun we could do today since we all had the day off. We decided to open our own breakfast diner. 
The kiddo’s woke up and declared they were hungry and would we please fix them something to eat.  So Beau told them to get dressed and put their shoes on because they were going to go out for breakfast.  They were so excited.  “Where?  IHOP?!”  As the ran off to get ready I rolled over and said, “Are you setting them up for disappointment when you bring them back to our house?”

They all loaded in the car and drove around for a while till he got the call letting him know the Diner was ready.  They arrived back at the house, to the sign “Crazy Flip and Floppy’s Fine Food” on the front door. Entering they found their hostess (and cook) Floppy.  She was wearing a large glittery scarf wrapped around hair standing straight on end, (since it never lies flat after sleeping) a bright blue peasant shirt, black skirt, bright lipstick and a long silver beaded necklace.  Floppy asked how many was in their company, and seated them at their table.  Caitlyn just wasn’t quite sure about this breakfast diner.  She was a little wary.  She then dispersed the menu’s and did a little explaining about the breakfast entree’s that morning.  They could add additional add ins if they wanted or go with the plain. 

As she exited to the kitchen, Flip (the waiter) arrived from the backroom in a tux shirt and bowtie, black gym shorts and a bingo visor. It was the small hick town accent that did it in for Caitlyn. She was sure at that point that she did not want to be here and she wanted her real mom and dad back.  Only after Flip asked her if she wanted him to remove the bingo hat did she agree to stay.  Mud was the drink of choice for the morning, with a variety of lilypads, gold fish stuffing, glue sticks, upside down tornados and cardboard. 

They seemed to enjoy it, and were giving us a few weird looks too…. maybe we need to loosen up and be a bit more crazy a little more often.

My 4 Blessings

It seems that all too often in the busyness of life I forget to remember my little blessings. Especially these 4 blessings. They bring joy and happiness into our home. They make life.
Lately Caitlyn is a little show off, the class clown for sure. She has inherited her dad’s love for life and laughter. She LOVES to laugh. The other day I was trying to fold up a large queen size blanket with Savannah. She immediately jumped in the middle of it, standing up while we were trying to fold it around her. She was laughing hysterically thinking it was sooo funny. Of course my motherliness jumps in and I start to get after her for getting in our way, and making it hard to clean up the mess. She was oblivious to anything I was saying. All she cared about was laughing, having joy, and playing this great game of getting folded up in the blanket.

She finally just had me laughing and thinking…. does it really matter?  Smile with your kids, laugh with your kids and just enjoy  them. The best part is that if she can get me to laugh she laughs harder. Which then makes me laugh harder, which makes her laugh harder and it just continues….. that good hard laughter that feels so good.  It releases all stresses and frustrations I’m feeling with the kids, it makes me realize that I am way too serious sometimes.  We as mothers just need to laugh more.  Maybe that’s why God sent her to me.  To tell me to lighten up, to have fun, enjoy the moment, and to be a kid. 

We need to be a joyful mother, full of love for our calling, our kids, for life.  “Men are that they might have joy.”  Sometimes I wonder if I’m sucking out all their joy or adding to it. Will they remember me as a mom that had fun, that laughed, that was truly happy in her calling and responsibility of a mother. Or one that was always frustrated with the messes, stressed, thinking too much, giving out orders and jobs and forgot how to smile.  I know I’m not completely there yet… but I hope someday they can say they had a Joyful mother.  I’m trying to evaluate things as we go along. Are we experiencing joy together as a family?  Did my kids express joy today?  Are they happy?  Has my husband been able to smile, relax and laugh?  Am I doing more smiling than scowling?  Am I smiling around my kids? Will they want to be a mother or father because they saw how much we loved and enjoyed it. 

Lately I’m grateful for a little girl that is making me ask these questions.

Powerful or Powerless

At the end of this last April I attended BYU Women’s Conference. It’s a two day conference with lots of workshops, speakers, service activities, and plain fun for two days. It’s a faith based conference with this year’s theme being “Choose Ye This Day to Serve the Lord.”  I had such a wonderful uplifting time.  The highlight and most impactful part of the conference was an address give by Julie B. Beck. I love this woman. She is the  Relief Society General President, and she always has the right thing to say at the right time in my life.

Her talk this  year was no different. It came at such a needed time as I was having inward battles about some heavy decisions I needed to make. Conflicts of desires to serve and recognizing I was had nothing left to give.  A time when I was trying to determine exactly where all my energy should be focused.  I was feeling powerless, overwhelmed, and in need of some heavenly guidance to apply to my life right then.  My father in heaven sent it through her.

One of her overarching themes she continually talks about is the need for personal revelation.  That this one thing should the MOST important thing we obtain in this life, and the ability to act on it.  We need it more than anything else. We need direct revelation, answers and help from heaven in relation to everything we do, our time, our families, our faith, our work…. everything…  We need to develop that capability.

We live in a world that is full of noise, voices, and enticements. There are so many things to get caught up in, and things to spend our time on.  Most of them can be of very little value, and will leave us feeling empty.  But when we seek out the spirit and revelation we will learn and do those things that are truly of the most importance, of the greatest value, and the things that will truly fill us.  We will hear the Lord’s voice tell us specifically what he needs us to do right now. What a great comfort.  And when we hear that voice and heed it we become powerful.  So how do we find this voice, how do we hear it, and what do we do right now?  We make sure our priorities are in order.  She gave a great way of describing what and where our priorities should be.

ESSENTIAL THINGS: These are the things that we MUST do to obtain Eternal life in the next life. These are the things that are the most essential things we can do in this life.  Things that enable us and our families to be together forever. These are things that if we let them slide, or push them aside for the time, will leave us lacking, wanting and unable to obtain the Eternal Life that is promised us. If we miss these things then we’ve missed the entire plan and purpose for our coming to earth in the first place. 

So what are those essential things?  For me they are Personal revelation – being able to obtain it, listen to the spirit and to obey. In order to have personal revelation I must have meaningful prayer and scripture study.  I must make and obtain covenants that are essential to eternal life. I must renew those covenants regularly by attending the temple often. I must build my family spirituality by reading scriptures together, praying together, working together, having Family Home Evening, etc.  Service in the church and to those around me.  Taking care of myself physically so I can keep up and give to others. etc

NECESSARY THINGS:  These are the things that we must do in daily life. The daily mundane things that lead to homes and lives of order and filled with the spirit.  These are things like cleaning my home so that it is a place where there is order, love and a place where the spirit can dwell, It becomes a place where me and my children can hear and heed the promptings of the spirit. These are things like making meals so we have time to sit and spend time together as a family.  They are things like financing, budgeting, work, provident living to help make sure that the time and effort my husband spends working is not being taken for granted and spent on things that are of no worth.  Organization and orderliness that will make our home run smoother, reduce stress levels, and will make everyone happier. These are things like teaching, reading, and playing with my children to develop better relationships, and help them grow up with a sense of worth and unconditional love. These things are things that help build a home that is filled with love, peace, the spirit, and where happiness abounds.  These are things that relate to my divine role as a mother and wife.


LIKE TO DO:  These are the things that are my loves and passions in life. They are things that are hobbies, girl friend time, me time, sewing, traveling, design, art, reading, blogging, reading the blogs, face book etc… these are the fun things that make each of our lives unique and wonderful.  These are things that bring joy, and fill us up, they are things that are truly enjoyable.
But the thing that hit me so strong when she was talking about these is this.  If we do things in the correct order… we will be powerful.  We will accomplish more than we ever thought was possible. We will have incredible influence on people and the ones we love the most.  We will be doing what the Lord wants and needs us to personally be doing.

But…..

When we spend most of our time in the “Like to Do” category, while pushing aside the other two, we will loose power. We will become powerless.  It hit me like a ton of bricks. Powerless…. How often do I spend more time in the ‘like to do’ category, or push off the other two things… and what usually results. Tiredness, feeling overwhelmed or burdened, feeling behind, feeling unsettled, not feeling at peace, contentious, overly sensitive etc.

For months I’ve been thinking about this. It’s become a theme within my new calling in the Stake Relief Society Presidency. There is such a huge need for this.  It has been something that has been on my mind ever since I heard her talk about it. In a way blogging has fallen to the side as possibly one of those things that is just a ‘like to do’…. and yet… I’m not sure that’s completely correct, as I think there is a bigger purpose for it. I’ve set it aside and have tried to think about where I want this blog to go, what I want it to be accomplishing and what I want it’s purpose to be. I want it to be a part of those essential and necessary things because of what I’m posting here, rather than something that is just in the category of ‘like to do'.

I want it to have a purpose, I want it to reflect the most important things to me in my life, some of those essential things. Which is why I’ve made a few changes to it. As I’ve been learning more with this new church calling I’ve been reflecting on the sole purpose of what Relief Society is, and how I personally am doing on accomplishing this great purpose.  Which is why I’ve decided that a lot of what I post on this blog is going to be about those three main purposes.

Building Faith, Strengthening Home and Family, and Providing Relief.  I want to share my own personal experiences, thoughts and projects relating to these purposes.  (I’m sure there will still be ‘creative’ ‘art’ ‘design’ type of posts, because that is still a huge part of who I am, but I hope to give a greater purpose to this blog and to help myself focus on that greater purpose.
I hope you’ll join me. I hope I still have some readers after a very long departure.  I hope you’ll take a honest look at your life and determine what are your essential, necessary and like to do things, and honestly evaluating where most of your time is spent.  God is all loving, and ironically when we really do put our time and efforts into the first two categories, he gives us time to also do those things we love to do. I hope you’ve seen this in your own life.
hope you’ll have a desire to become powerful over powerless….

My Favorite Book

If there was a book that has had more impact on my life than any other it would be the Book of Mormon. A prophet once said "It is the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."

I know that it is true, I feel closer to God and know my Savior Jesus Christ more fully when I read this book and abide by it's precepts. It has been the biggest blessing in my life. It has given me direction, it has provided answers to life's greatest questions. It testifies along with the Bible that Jesus is the Christ, he is our Savior, he did atone for us, and he has made it possible to be with our families beyond the grave.

I KNOW it is true, and because it means so much to me in my life, I'd like to share it others. I would love to give you a copy. If you would like a free copy with a personal note, please email me at motherwifeartist@gmail.com, with your name and mailing address. I would love to send you your very own copy.

Back to School

I have to admit I love this time of year. Not because my kid are going back to school, but because it just feels like change is in the air. It’s time to make some new goals, get back into a routine, and get things running a lot more smoother than they have for the summer. 

Savannah started school today and I think she’s excited to be back. Mirian is also going to be starting up Kindergarten and doesn’t get to go for another week. She just can’t understand why Savannah get’s to go to school already and she doesn’t. It just isn’t fair she says. I have to agree with her.  I have no idea why they do it this way.  I was reading a little notebook of mine today where I write down funny things the kids say, and I ran across this one from Mirian that she said a couple of years ago. It seems so fitting now. :)
“When I go to school, I’m going to High School Musical School.” 

And she would probably get along nicely there with all her singing and dancing lately. 

As part of my new goals, and trying to get back into a normal routine I have decided to finally tackle Photoshop Illustrator. I AM going to learn this program if it kills me. :)  Or at least I’m going to learn how to draw with that darn pen tool!!!  The little boy above is one of my first attempts today. So simple and yet it only took me 2 hours.. geesh.  To figure out how to get those curves going the right way, how to make corners, etc.  I have so many new ideas in my head. TONS…. of things I’d like to create, but can’t do them till I figure this program out.  So I may be boring you for a while with very BASIC simple illustrations, while I get this thing mastered.  (And that’s only 5 pages out of 300+ page book).  Hey it’s that time of year to begin learning right?!  I might as well join the crowd too.

8 Amazing Years

TOGETHER…..

Yesterday Beau and I celebrated our 8th anniversary.  Some days it is so hard to believe that we have been together for 8 years already? Didn’t we just get married yesterday? Then other days it seems like such a short time compared to all the amazing years we still have left with each other.  All I can think is how amazing and wonderful they have been.  I am always amazed how I was able to end up with such good man.  A REALLY good man.  He has been an amazing support to me.  He is a wonderful father, and I seriously can’t spend enough time with him.  If I ever have a choice between going somewhere or hanging out with others, I’d always choose him.  I just love being with him. It’s been like that since the first time I saw him and we spent an hour talking.  I left thinking, “How can I get together with him again?”
Life is so good with him.

Ever since we got married, we’ve always felt it was important to always make time for each other.  We feel that the best thing we can ever give our kids is a happy mom and dad, who have a deep love for each other and a good solid relationship. We know that we can not do that with the daily demands of kids, stress, work and callings if we do not make our relationship a priority and spending time alone together.   Courting and dating each other is a must, and when we don’t do that we are definitely not that happy mom or dad that our kids need.

So every year we plan a time usually around our anniversary to go for a 2-3 day trip by ourselves. The last two years we’ve been lucky enough to do it behind a bike.  Man it’s great!  This year we took a trip to the Idaho area.  (Checking out possible places to go when Beau graduates.) I kept telling him that Rexburg wouldn’t be too bad. He could teach at the college and it’s still feels rural which we love.  He always replied - no way… too windy and in the middle of no where.  But he decided we could check it out, visit my old stomping ground, and get away from the kids.

One of the days we spent on the bike geo-caching, checking out the gorgeous country, trying to beat the rain storms, and getting burned by the sun and wind!

The other day we checked out the college while geo-caching on campus.  The gardens on campus sold him.   I received my associates there 13 years ago, so for me it was a walk down memory lane. Remembering the happenings of my freshman and sophomore years of college.  Roomates, FHE Brothers, the Spori building (which has now been rebuilt after it burned down), 6 am job for the vending department, devotionals, classes, etc. It seems like almost a second life.

We spent one evening walking downtown, listening to a great sounding live band.  We had frozen custard for the first time – Key lime.  AMAZING…. we had to go back the second night to have some more.  Wow. 

We checked out the outlying communities and neighborhoods to get a feel to see if we could possibly live here if Beau could get on at the college. His final answer.  Yes.  I could move here. Now to graduate first.  :)

One of my favorite parts…… the endless rolling fields of potatoes, wheat and farms…… I would LOVE to live on a place like that.  Big red barn, country farm house, out buildings, tons of trees…. someday.  :)

Camping on the Mind

What else would you design when all you’ve done is camp all summer. It seemed only fitting to pick a topic that I could use on all the photo’s I’ve taken. There’s also nothing like playing with your own styles to create your own “smores” and other camping goodies. :)

Family Trees

For Christmas last year I created a Family Tree picture for my mom and dad of their personal heritage. I loved them. There is something amazing about sitting and looking at your direct lineage. Remembering their stories, where they came from and wondering who they are. I always wonder what they were like when they were living out their own personal story.

Everyone that saw them loved it. I had other family members asking me if I could make them some. I was so excited when Ro released her commercial version that would allow me to make them for other family members who had been wanting them. It also allows me to continue to make custom ones for others who would like their own family tree. They are wonderful gifts for weddings, Christmas time, special anniversaries, mothers and father’s day.


Since I have had others ask for them as well, I thought I would be willing to create additional ones for anyone interested. I can do a custom one, creating your own family tree. It can be similar to the ones above or it can be one of posterity instead. It doesn’t have to have a blue matt, and can be custom made to the color of your choice, as well as the background color. I can create the family line for a family such as the one above. Or I can make it for an individual, like the one below.

If I have already made the custom original tree, then additional copies or prints can be ordered as well. If your lucky enough that I’ve already created your family line, then you’d just have to pay the print price.

I have Fielding, Kelly, and Astle lines already available.

If you are interested in giving it to someone for Christmas then I have to know before Oct. 30. I won’t accept any Christmas orders after that time.

If your interested at all email me at: motherwifeartist@gmail.com and I’ll send you an email with further details and pricing.

Mountain of the Lord

June was the month of camping.  Literally.  4 weekends in a row, and some of those full weeks.  At the first of the month, due to various circumstances I found myself throwing things into a bag, with 5 minutes of warning that I was going up to girls camp for the week.  The girls had left on the bus 30 minutes earlier, and didn’t have any leaders going or that would be there to greet them due to unforeseen circumstances.  I left my family with our good friends not sure if I would be returning that night or at the end of the week. 

I had no idea what had been planned for the week, what food I was supposed to cook, or what was really going on.  All I knew was that I had peace, I knew things would work out ok, and that I didn’t need to worry about my family. 

Ironically months earlier after my miscarriage, I had been in turmoil trying to decide whether to volunteer to go as a leader or not.  I was emotionally unstable, exhausted, tired and yet wasn’t sure if I needed to be going for the girls.  After weeks of prayer, fasting and going to the temple I finally only had peace when I decided that I was not going. I knew I wasn’t supposed to go.  The events that happened after that to find other leaders and growing experiences with the girls were unreal, and ironically I found myself packing myself up to go to camp with the complete peace that it was ok for me to go, and in fact that I was SUPPOSED to be there.  The Lord works in miraculous ways.


The minute I was in the mountains I knew I was supposed to be there, and I did not want to leave. My soul needed healing and quiet introspective time that I could not get at home with 4 little ones around me all the time. I needed things that only the Lord knew I needed, and experienced numerous things at camp that were literally life changing for me. That week turned out to be a major highlight of my life. I saw miraculous things happen, I developed a stronger friendship with another leader, I grew to love my priesthood holders more than I ever have, I gained strong testimony of things I didn’t have a testimony of prior, and I left with some clear direction as to some very specific things in my life.  I left knowing God knew me personally, that he knew the condition of my heart and that it needed changing, and he knew it would only happen at Girls Camp. It would only happen in the mountains in his majestic creations and after a sacrifice to serve. 

I am so grateful for that week.

The rest of the month we continued to pack in family camping trips, birthday parties, reunions, and Beau got to have his amazing experience with the Lord at Youth Conference for a week. What a growing, exhausting, and packed month. I don’t know if any other month can compete with it, but somehow sometimes I sure it will.
 
(I’m in love with Angie’s new calendar templates. It’s such a great way to document the events of our lives, in a simple format that still keeps exact dates, and is fun to look at! I can’t wait to keep doing it, and do it for past  years!)

Forced to Have Fun

I am still around… just obviously not on my blog. It has been a crazy two months.  I ended up spending a surprise week at girls camp, Beau had youth conference for a week, we’ve had 3 reunions and family gatherings. Caitlyn turned 2. (Where has the time gone!)  I’ve been trying to get design work done on the few days we’re home, keep up with the house, keep a garden growing and do something fun with my kids.  It’s been a good few months, but I’m so looking forward to one of our first weekends all home together as a family. To relax, work on projects or just do absolutely nothing except be together. :)  So instead of backtracking (so I actually will post something), we’ll start with today.

The funny part about today was forcing myself to do something fun and messy with the kids. Being a designer, and having to create my own layouts to promote my designs, I’m always in the need of some ‘HERO’ shots.  So for the last week I’ve been working on some new designs, and could find very few good hero shots to use in layouts. So what do I do. I either pay an arm and a leg for them off of istock.  (Maybe I should look into getting on with them and let other people pay me! :) )  Or the next best thing; force my kids to smile while mom sets up the stage for shooting some ‘HERO’ shots.

Couldn’t you just eat her up!  I sure could. She is just the cutest little girl right now.

Down to Two.

I did it. Officially I am probably the meanest mom in the world. I declared to my children last night that this morning I was going in their rooms and bagging EVERYTHING UP. They would be able to pick out one toy and one dress up outfit and the rest were being put into boxes or bags and being shipped out of the house. (Only twenty feet to the garage) The ironic part is my husband asked the other night if I’m an all or nothing sort of person…. well as of today I guess I am.

Two things. They have a week or two to show me that they can take care of these two items, put them away where they go, pick them up after they are done, and take care of them.  If they can’t, then they are stuck with just two for a while. If they can, then they can slowly take one more item out at a time and show me they can be responsible for a few more.

Why?

This mommy is tired of tripping over everything to get into rooms. Tired of demanding, threatening, bribing and finally just cleaning it herself.  I’m tired of seeing how I am creating terrible habits in my children, and expecting very little from them. Yes they are small, yes they aren’t adults, and yet I see that I am doing a HUGE disservice to them by not teaching them how to take care of things, put things away, and be responsible. I’m doing a huge disservice by doing it for them sometimes because it it’s just faster.

In reality they are small and I’m making it almost entirely impossible to help them l
earn this by giving them LOTS of toys. More toys than they can handle and manage, and so many toys that it completely OVERWHELMS them. Especially when it comes to cleaning them and putting them away. It OVERWHELMS me!  Just trying to figure out how to organize things, how to make it easier for them to put things away and take care of it. How to help them want to take care of it.  It’s just plain tiring and all the other ways have just not worked.

So we’re going with this tactic. The method of “choices and accountability” and being good “stewards”.   I’m still going to let them keep the two items I mentioned, so they don’t have a complete meltdown and so they can prove to me by how they choose to take care o
f these two things, whether or not they are accountable enough to take care of more. They are little, they need to learn how to be responsible for a few things at a time.  Doesn’t the Lord do the same thing with us? He give us a small stewardship with the promise that if we take care of it then more will be added upon it. They don’t know the satisfaction of taking care of that one toy especially well, because it’s the only one they have and if it gets ruined they have nothing.  They need to start small, with something that is within reach and totally attainable and go from there.

So will I be back in a few days saying this completely failed? Who knows maybe. Are they going to go nuts. I don’t think so.  They might complain but it’s summer they have the outdoors to go run and play in, they still have crayons and markers and things to draw with, and I have other things I want to do and teach them. Maybe it will be a blessing in disguise.  As my husband asked last night as he raised his eyebrow at my declaration. “Hmm… Who is going to give in first?”  We shall see and I’ll let you know in a day or two how it is going.

Memorials

This last week we had a busy week which led us home to Star Valley for the funeral of a good friend of ours from our home town.

Ryan had been struggling with cancer for the last year, and at one point thought he had won the battle, only to have it reappear and take him home. We had been keeping up on his blog Team Ryan for the last year with what he had been going through thanks to his strong and supportive wife.  He was only 30, Beau’s age, and left a wife and two young children. It is sad and yet after attending the funeral, you knew it was his time. He had accomplished what he needed to do in mortality. You also had completely peace knowing they had been sealed together in the temple and that an eternal family was their blessing after this life.  It was an awesome funeral.  The kind that every funeral should be like.  Full of hope because of the Savior’s atonement and resurrection, great memories and tributes to his amazing life and the wonderful person that he was. We left wanting to be better so that we could be with him again and be where we knew he was. 

I had been doing good keeping emotions at check, until I walked into the viewing. Seeing his parents, sisters and brother greet people as well as his wife just got me so choked up, wondering about the loss they must feel.  I also saw a picture of Ryan as a little kid and all of the sudden the memories flooded back of growing up.   Our families were really good friends. It seemed like every Sunday or weekend our families would end up together at one of our homes and we would spend hours entertaining each up coming up with circus acts, plays and games of cops and robbers and Annie.  We would escape to the basement  getting our acts and performances put together while the parents had their much needed adult time together with no interruptions from us children. Hours later we would call our parents down and have them be the audience while we showed off our latest baton twirling act, and award winning acting during the play “Sleeping Beauty.” 

As we got older it started turning around to toilet papering each other’s homes during family reunions.  One night while throwing the toilet paper we were scared to death when the garage door started opening at 2 am, and Gary pulled out on a late night call to the hospital.  We’d still spent many evenings together as we were older, we’d just migrate up to listen the adults. I still love sitting and hearing Ryan’s dad, Gary, tell stories. We’d spend New Years Even together sometimes playing games. We also started the tradition of having a ‘journey meal’ on Christmas Eve together to remind us of their journey to Bethlehem and that special night of the Savior’s birth. We still do it now with my own children.

It circumstances like this that bring people together that you haven’t seen for years. You have the chance to remember times and moments when each of them touched your life forever. A time to reflect that the main reason you are who you are is because of a combination of all these people who have been a part of your earthly journey, teaching, sharing, laughing and sharing life together.  It makes you realize how incredibly blessed you are to know such amazing people. Amazing people like Ryan and his family, people that made your life better. It’s makes you realize that everything isn’t about you. Because the only reason you are you… is because of them.

I pray for his wife Margie and her little children that they’ll have the spirit to be with them in the difficult days that lay ahead. It is sure to be a hard road sometimes.  But the thought that stuck out the most to me in the funeral is:

“The only way to take the pain and sorrow out of death, is to take the love out of life.”

And that’s what I felt this weekend. Love. Love for Ryan. Love for his family, and a realization that when death does hit even closer to home for me, that it will be painful I’m sure.  But that will be because I truly loved them in life, and I wouldn’t change that for anything.

Note To Self

Today I finally had a chance to work on another “Who Am I” assignment. It was about writing a letter to someone. I liked her prompt to listen to the Brad Paisley song and ended up writing some life notes to myself. It got me thinking. If I really could go back and tell myself something what would I say? Would I try and get myself to change so I wouldn’t have to experience some of the hard things I did? I don’t think I would. Looking at it now, even though it was hard at the time, it completely made me who I was. I wouldn’t want to change that.

I ended up feeling like the biggest thing I would say is: be careful how you treat people. Those are the things I have the biggest regrets about today. Relationships with people that I missed out on for various reasons. It’s all about the people. Nothing else really matters in the end, except for them.

I still need to realize even now amidst the business of life that it’s still all about the people. I won’t have regrets about anything else in the end. Just about the people.

“Never let a problem to be solved be more important than a person to be loved.”

Puppets

I have been wanting to submit to the Spoonflower weekly fabric design contest and was finally able to come up with something for this week’s theme of puppets. I’d really like that $100 worth of fabric to get rid of a whole bunch of ideas floating around in my head that are dying to get put on some fabric. I’d love it if you would be willing to vote for me. (If you feel that it’s worthy of your vote.) :) To vote simply go to Spoonflower. Click on contests in the menu bar and then in the top right corner of your screen you can vote on this week’s puppet patterns.

Generations of Mothers

I hope you all had a wonderful mother’s day.  I had a wonderful one! I spent time with family viewing homemade cards, eating breakfast and dinner that was made for me, spent some time chatting with family on Skype, hearing wonderful messages at church and just enjoyed the day.

I am so grateful for my mom (the baby in this picture) and all the mom’s before her like my grandmother.  They have had more impact on me than they think sometimes.  I don’t think you begin to appreciate your mom until you become a mom yourself. I don’t think I’ve appreciated
- all the home cooked meals, bread and treats she made for us all the time. It was always homemade.
- the many mornings she woke us up early before school to read scriptures as a family and have family prayer.
- all the home-evening lessons she prepared and taught us.
- the hard work she taught us to do through having a garden and canning every year. Sitting and shelling peas or snapping beans as we talked or watched movies.
- living on a limited budget, staying out of debt and running their own business, which required lots of work, sacrifice and creativity on making money stretch.
- for making birthdays a special day for us.
- for showing us to serve in the church. To dedicate your all, give your all and do what you know is right.
- for teaching me to cook, clean, sew, and develop homemaking skills, which has made it so much easier becoming a wife and mother.
- encouraging me to pursue my art, and letting me develop my creativity. I would always ask her what I should draw or paint for art class, and she always responded “a Rhinoceros”. I would roll my eyes, get her point that she wasn’t going to come up with my idea for me, and move on. Someday she is going to get her Rhinoceros.
- teaching us how to serve, be grateful and help others.
- the importance of family vacations and time together.
- all the days, evenings and weekends that she held the house together on her own, and took care of us, because dad was working or serving in the church.  That was not an easy endeavor and I know she was exhausted, stressed and wishing she had her husband home more. 
She sacrificed lots and did EVERYTHING for us. I hope she knows that I recognize it and love her so much for it.  She was an amazing mom, and I am so blessed to have her as my mother.

What Bugs Me?

Here is another page for the Who Am I book. 10 Things that bug me. Oh there are many more, but it’s best not to dwell on all of them. :)

Also check out this great interview of a friend of mine, Mandy. It’s all about being a creative mom. She has some great insights that I can echo loud and clear.  She is also a great example to me of one that is doing it the right way. (Being a mother and Artist at the same time.) Keep at it Mandy!

Who Am I

I digital scrapbook a lot. Not for recording my history, or making keepsake books for my children. (Although I do end up with some of that) I do it mostly for the creative release and also for my design work with ScrapGirls.  In the process of these hundreds of layouts I’ve made there are only a couple that are of me and my life.  Lately as I’ve been more involved in Family History and the stories, I often wish there were stories of these amazing people that I descended from and yet there is nothing. I’m only left to imagine what they were like.

I  find that I have the same desires and questions about my mom. (I hope your reading this!)  Wondering what all of her history is. We’ve heard some of the stories, but there is a lot there that we don’t know as well. I want to know more.  I also realize that someday my children may be saying the same thing. So I’ve decided to do scrap more about me.  I going to take some time to celebrate my life and the little things that make me who I am.

So I joined Anna’s class called Who Am I? at ScrapGirls, and will be creating 20 layouts about just me. I’m hoping to accomplish them all, and possibly add to them in the hopes of creating my own story to share with my kids and their posterity.

So today’s topic was quick and easy – 10 of my favorite things.  I realize I have way more than 10 favorites… but these are a few of the top ones.

I also love it when a project like this can kill 2 other birds with one stone. A personal progress goal and a Family History goal that our stake has right now for everyone in the wards. Yes!   

(So MOM…. I still want to learn more about you and who you are. I want some stories to pass on to my kids, and I want to hear some memories. So if you want to take some of these same topics, answer them and email them to me… I’ll even put them together for you in a book…. How much EASIER could it get!  Not much.   You’re always asking what to get us for Christmas…. hint hint….  The offer stands for my mother in law too.  I know her sons would appreciate it!)

Young Women Personal Progress

In our church the girls ages 12 – 18 participate in the Young Women’s Program. It is an excellent program designed to help girls prepare to become mothers, wives, and good righteous women. Within the young women’s program is goal oriented program called personal progress, which is based upon 8 values. Faith, Divine Nature, Individual Worth, Knowledge, Choice and Accountability, Good Works, Integrity, and Virtue.

Right now my calling (or church service) in our ward is with the Young Women as secretary. Even though I finished the personal progress as a youth the program has changed a lot since then. It’s my goal to go through the whole program again right now and earn it again along with my young women.

For one of my projects I wanted to create a mini album to share with anyone, based on the young women values. I wanted something that was basic and could be used for multiple things. I hope some of you can find a use for it. The two graphics show the whole collection.

It can be used for many things:

- note cards / postcards

- church handouts

- invitations to New Beginnings, Young Women in Excellence, Standard Night

- create a finished album recording all of your 8 value experiences you completed.
- scripture memorization cards

- photo book for camp or YW activities.
- use it for a YW activity to teach your girls how to digital scrapbook.
- have your girls use it in a persona progress goal.
- be creative!

For each value there is one page that is a journaling page, and then one that is a photo page, with an open hole to place a photograph. If you want to manipulate it a bunch some photo editing software would work the best. (Although my sister can do amazing things with Microsoft Word, which I can not do.) So that program might work as well. If not, it can easily be printed out and just written on.

It’s free for you to use. I’d love to hear how you use it, or see any finished projects if you have the time. I really hope that some of you might find it of value because I sure had a lot of fun making it.

Please feel free to let people know about it, and direct them here where they can download it. Thanks!